i have always been a dreamer
a child with my head in the sky
yet never one to lie
especially to myself
i have dreams, big ones
and expectations of an even larger proportion
expectations too large for any mere human to satisfy
especially myself
so let it be no surprise if you see me cry
under the cover of darkness inside my closet
sitting between the shoes i don't wear and the dresses of the past
with all that being said, it is with a heavy heart that i admit it is true
sweet jesus i have taken a shine to you
you beautiful odd girl
i wish to take you as my twilight lover
but i use friendship as a cover
for the fantastical films i direct in my imagination
as long as i'm incinerated where i stand just by the sight of you
those big expectations will remain just that
so until i find courage to dream less and act more
i will have to do things for myself and pretend i'm not so sore
aching and shaking over you
during the movie i will hold my own hand in the dark
while yours digs popcorn out of my lap
seemingly torturing me for a lark
i will kiss my own cheek when you pass me by
and we'll keep telling ourselves the same lie
i will caress my own body when i lay me down to sleep
and i will ignore my pretending that the hand is mine
i will write my own love letters addressed to myself
telling myself i'm a goddamn treasure
while you're captivated by his love letters
hang all the mistletoe, i will be my own 12:00 kiss
you have no idea what it is you'll miss
(i don't either)
and then when the party's over
we two will tuck ourselves into two different beds
eyes closed and trying to dispel foolish ideas from our heads
sweetheart, they've got my all wrong
i'm no braveheart
just a heartsick girl hiding behind brave words
after all, why live when the movie is so good in your head?
perhaps this time i will be brave instead
my dear, i doubt you love me
but if you do then please wait for me
i'll get there eventually
brave the oncoming storm
i'll be there with you holding your hand
lady, i assure you there is no place i'd rather be
right here by your side
is where i want to be
your right hand man
your biggest fan
this must be the place
this must be my place
if anyone asks, this is where i'll be
where i'll be
