when you give something a name
you will get attached
I never should've named you
because youre everything
I don't want
and no one believes I have you anyways
so why are you staying
and why can't I seem
to let you go
ptsd
you've reminded me
why you're here more than you did
when I didn't know your name
it's like you never go away
and you sing the same song everyday
of panic
of regret
of sorrow
but I'm the only one who can hear it
and they wonder why I become scared so easily
when you creep up behind me
unexpectedly
anxiety
I've had you for the longest time
like a childhood friend that never left
and never changed
but I didn't know your name
now your visits feel more like moving in
I've tried so hard to let you go
to forget about you
to tell you that this is not your home
but your name
is a part of me
stitched into my nerves
so they act surprised
when they see me shake
after doing simple things
they tell me I'm foolish
they say you're make believe
that I made you up
like monster under the bed
but even they
don't come from nothing
depression
you've become a joke
a laughing stock
have you ever felt like
you're no longer
the owner of your body
because when you're around all I have
is fake smiles
that only last a while
and obnoxious laughs
that make time pass
I was only aware
of this torture done by ghosts
only the troubled could see
when I put a name onto your chests
and onto my shoulders
you've made me a dictionary
with so little words
and too many stories to back up definitions
I've learned to love
the way you torture
learned to let you devour me
and appreciate what ever is left of me
when I am spat back out
because when you give something a name
you will get attached
