Tortured love ~ a Trevor Moran fanfiction

Chapter 6

Trevor's pov:

It has been a month since we found her. And each week that she has been asleep brings a new medical horror. The first day they got her to the hospital, the found out she had been pregnant. But because she was too thin to carry the baby, and she lost too much blood that day, she miscarried.

The next week I found out she had been raped multiple times, by her father. He was the reason she had gotten pregnant. Knowing that somebody else had touched her had my blood boiling. But he was in jail now, for the rest of his life. The law states that nobody is allowed to take somebody's virginity, unless it is your mate. That is the rules. No excuses. the only exception is if both people had lost both of their mates, or rejected theirs, then it is ok. But it is very uncommon for anybody to move on from rejection or death.

The next week I found out that she had been anorexic. She chose to starve herself because she did not think she was beautiful. But it takes something more than self disgust to do that to yourself. It requires a person to hate themselves, absolutely hate the thing staring back at them in the mirror. It also requires others telling them things. Horrible things. And the worst thing is that I was the one calling her fat, ugly, stupid, whale, and slut. I regret every one of those words.

The following week the doctors told me that because of the damage the anorexia has done to her body, she may never have kids. We may never have kids. I've always wanted children, and I think she would too.

But just this week I got the worst news of all. The doctors say that if she does not wake up soon, her organs will give out. Just stop working. And they would then put her on a breathing machine, and wait for me to give up hope. And then she would die.

Tears streamed down my face, I let go of her hand, curled up into a ball in the chair, and cried. I hated the fact that there is a small percentage that she could die. I hated that she was In pain. I hated that I did this to her. I put her in here, and I had no reason. No way to justify doing this to her. The guilt was killing me. Literally killing me.

It had been a week since I last showered, and about three days since I last ate a proper meal. I would only eat when one of the boys would shove food in my face. It's not like I don't want to eat, it's just that when I try, it never goes down. I can't chew it, or keep it down. And I don't like to be dirty, but I feel like if I were to leave her, she would leave too.

The doctors try to talk to me, tell me that she will be ok. But if she is, then why isn't she awake. Others have noticed that the light in my eyes is gone. My cheeks have caved in. Dark circles surround my eyes. I don't think it's a pretty sight.

I continued to cry, not caring who sees. Holding my head in my hands. And just letting it all out. Strangled sobs left my throat. Tears now stained my shirt. It was like this every day. Never ending sadness, depression, guilt.

I was still rocking back and forth, repeating in my head,
It's all my fault
It's all my fault
It's all my fault
It's all my fault.

I was about to brush some of the tears from my cheeks, when I felt a feather light hand caress my face. From my temple, down my cheek, and landing on my jaw. From the tingles that erupted, I knew it was her.

I looked up, trailing my eyes from her small hand, up her arm, her neck. And then her face, watching how some of the color was returning. I then looked up further. Our eyes met, and to my delight, instead of holding hate, they held trust, some fear, but trust.

And that was all that I could ask for.

________________________

Ok so I was finally able to update. I'm sorry for the wait. I promise I will work on being better with staying on schedule.

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-mikayla