Tortured love ~ a Trevor Moran fanfiction

Chapter 2

I woke up in what I thought was by bed, but when I looked around, it was the cold and dirty cement outside the back of the school. It felt like somebody had bashed my head in. Oh that's right, they did! I tried to stand up, grabbing the brick wall for support. When I looked down at my body, I was horrified with the bruises and cuts that scattered my arms. Who knows what other marks I would find later on in my room. That reminds me, what time is it? I pulled my iPod out of my bag, it read 6:22. SHIT. Dad was going to be home in 8 minutes, and it is a 20 minute walk home. I ran the whole way home, but I was too late.

When I walked in the house, I closed and locked the door as usual, set my bag near the door, and walked to the kitchen to get dinner ready. I could hear the TV in the living room playing tonight's football game. I got the already made lasagna out of the freezer and put it in the oven for 30 minutes to let it heat up. as I was walking up the stairs my grabbed my arm and threw me down.

" Where the hell were you?" he screamed. he smelled like alcohol. He was drunk, well isn't that just perfect. When he is drunk, he normally goes a little further than just beating. You can probably guess that I'm not a virgin. He took that from me about a year or so ago. I hope he wont do that tonight, I don't think I can handle any more. My train of thought was cut short by a hand connecting with my face. I could feel the warm liquid trickle out of my now split lip. I quickly thought of a lie to answer his question.

"I had to stay late to help a classmate study for a test." I spoke quietly. To my disappointment, he did not believe me. "LIAR!'' he screamed. He then repeatedly threw kicks and punches to my stomach, legs, and head. I could feel my ribs threatening to break. "Don't - lie - to - me - you - SLUT!" he yelled between kicks. luckily the oven beeped signaling that the lasagna was done. his head snapped up, he then looked back to me and said between his teeth "I'm not done with you yet"

He walked into the kitchen, I could hear him pull the pan out of the oven, then him giving himself some. I didn't know exactly what he was planning for me tonight but I think I had a few ideas, im sure you can guess them. I stood up, ignoring the pain that I knew all to well, gripping the railing, I climbed the stairs and walked to my room.

Once inside, I went to my bathroom and stripped the blood stained clothing off of my bruised body. when I was fully naked, I looked in the mirror. I had a bruise on my jaw, a split lip, a long cut from the end of my left eyebrow to the hollows of my cheeks, and a huge bruise on both of my cheeks from where Kian and my dad slapped me. My stomach was covered with bruises from fists and kicks. There was a few bruises on my ribs, some darker than others. I breathed in, trying to see if one of them were broken, luckily none of them were. I then looked at my arms, other than the handprint from where my dad grabbed me, they were almost clear of bruises. I said of bruises, not cuts or scars. Those were all over my arms from previous meetings with razors. My legs looked a lot like my stomach, bruised. And a few scars scattered on the inside of my thighs yet again from razors. I have tried to stop self harming, but I can never keep It up, something always happens that draws me back to needing a release.

I splashed water on my face, getting rid of some of the blood. I then turned on the shower to wash off the rest of the blood and dirt. When I was done, I walked out into my room, put on some pajama pants and a loose fitting long sleeve shirt. I was just brushing through my hair when the door was shoved open. I whipped my head in the direction of the door to see my father smirking at me.

A lot of people would say he is handsome, he had short brown hair, with blue eyes. He was fairly tall 6 ft 3 I would say, it's a big difference compared to my height, 5 ft 3. He was also very strong. He could lift me up with one arm and throw me across the room, even though I weighed 112 pounds. Still to fat though. But I could never see anything handsome about him, his abusive side destroyed that.

He walked towards me, and then picked my up and threw me on my bed. I'm guessing you can tell what happened next. When he finished, he gave a few punches and kicks to my midsection, and then left me alone, naked, and bloody. I ran to the shower and scrubbed everything. I felt so dirty. I was scrubbing so hard that my skin was bright red and stung, but that sting was not enough.

I felt the burning sensation on my left wrist. I looked over to see my blades resting on the side of the bathtub. I grabbed one and sat down on the shower floor.

After I got the razor I played the song I always listen to when I feel this way. Breathe me by sia.

Help, I have done it again

I have been here many times before

Hurt myself again today

And the worst part is there's no one else to blame

"For being ugly" I whispered

cut

Be my friend

Hold me, wrap me up

Unfold me

I am small and needy

Warm me up

And breathe me

"For being fat"

Cut

Ouch I have lost myself again

Lost myself and I am nowhere to be found,

Yeah I think that I might break

I've lost myself again and I feel unsafe

"For mom"

Cut

Be my friend

Hold me, wrap me up

Unfold me

I am small and needy

Warm me up

And breathe me

"For dad"

Cut

Be my friend

Hold me, wrap me up

Unfold me

I am small and needy

Warm me up

And breathe me

"For the boys"

Cut

Be my friend

Hold me, wrap me up

Unfold me

I am small and needy

Warm me up

And breathe me

"For not ending my life when I could have"

Cut.

_________________________

Well that was a very depressing second chapter. I promise I will bring the other o2l boys in the story. I know they are not all in the same school or in school, but for this story they are all in the same school, and on their first year of high school.

Yes, Rose is depressed, suicidal, anorexic, bulimic, and self harms. If you deal with any of these, seek help please.

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~mikayla💙😘