Tortured love ~ a Trevor Moran fanfiction

Chapter 3

*dream:

"You are nothing but a little whore" Trevor said smacking my across my face

" The world would be better if you were never born" Sam screamed, delivering a hit to my stomach.

"You don't deserve life" Connor spat

"Kill yourself, you are an

Ugly

Fat

Useless

Slut who deserves to die" Kian said, kicking me with every word. Ricky thought it would be a good time to step in, picking me up, he then threw me at the brick wall, nocking all of the air out of me. Jc then pulled out a gun, aimed it at my head, And pulled the trigger*

I woke up sweating and screaming, I have that dream a lot. But today I wish it really happened. I'm tired if being pushed around and stomped on. I finally decided that today I would take matters into my own hand, but make it big, make It something that they would remember. I would make a letter to everybody who ever dared bully me, and to my future soul mate. I would remove all makeup, and make sure all scars and bruises on my arms and legs are visible when they find me. I want them to see the pain I went through every day of my life. I wanted them to pay for everything they have ever done. I wanted that guilt to haunt them forever. And it will.

When I rolled out of bed I completed my usual morning routine, shower, makeup, cloths, hair. but today I made sure to pack makeup wipes, short shorts, a pen & paper, marker, my blades, and a rope. Im pretty sure you can guess what the rope is for.

I almost forgot, it's my birthday today, I am at the age where if I am a select few, I would be ably to find my soul mate. But that will never happen. That is the one think I am going to be sad about missing. He will have to move on and find somebody else.

When I got to school, I planned to go through first class, skip second, and use that time to write my notes and act on my plan in one of the empty classrooms in the middle of the school. I would also use first class to write some notes. I was at my locker getting everything, luckily I don't think the boys are around. I made my way to first class and took my seat in the back. There was the usual person who would walk by and spit on me or kick me. It's ok, in less than a few hours I will be free from all this pain. I finished all of the notes by the time class was done. They said...

Ricky:

I have no clue why you have bullied me theses past years. But every word you have said I have never forgotten. And I know that everything you have ever said is true. I see how fat I am. I see how ugly I am. I know that I was a mistake. So I hope you are happy now, I know I am. I also want to tell you that I forgive you, but I hope you will never forgive yourself.

Sam:

You have done nothing but hurt me. I don't know why, but every punch and kick hurt. The physical pain you have put me through is unbearable. But I forgive you, but I hope you never forgive yourself.

Connor:

I know I don't deserve to live. I was a mistake that everybody hates. I don't deserve to smile, to laugh, to breathe. I never did, and never will. I want you to know that I forgive you, but I hope you never forgive yourself.

Jc:

I hope you never forget the time you beat me unconscious. When you slammed my head on the wall till it bled. Although you have caused me so much pain, I forgive you, but I hope you never forgive yourself.

Kian:

You are one of the worst. The physical and emotional pain you have inflicted upon me is nothing anybody should have to go through. Yet I forgive you, but I hope you will never forgive yourself.