Nightmares (A Yooseven fanfiction)

Hospital

Yoosung paced around in the hospital waiting room restlessly.

Seven didn't suffer much damage except for a hit in the head resulting in a nasty cut across his forhead.

Still, he couldn't help but worry.

After all it was his fault. All his fault...

He shouldn't have spoken. He should have just kept his mouth shut.

He shouldn't have snapped. He should have kept his anger in check.

It should have been him. Not Seven.

It was his fault...

All his...

"Excuse me Mr. Kim?" A small nurse appeared in the doorway. "Mr. Choi is out. He is not awake yet but you can visit him."

"Thank goodness." Yoosung sighed as he rushed past the nurse into the room.

He was amazed by Seven's change of appearance.

He had plain and light colored clothes instead of his usual dark clothes and hoodie. He had a tightly wrapped bandage around his forehead and his glasses were off.

He missed his glasses...

His eyes trailed to the night stand beside his bed where Seven's glasses were placed neatly.

Yoosung loved Seven's glasses. They had a cool edge to them but still manged to look sophisticated on Seven.

He picked up the glasses and gently placed them on Seven, his fingers brushing his cheeks as he pulled his hands away.

There. Seven looked more like himself now with his glasses on.

He felt a little bit weird just looking at his sleeping face.

He looked so peaceful and vulnerable which was none of Seven's outside qualities.

"I know you are sleeping now but I just want to say that I am sorry. I know this accident was my fault and now you are in the hospital..." He trailed off sighing. "I am honestly terribly sorry and I know that these words mean nothing and I must sound pathetic repeating this over and over again but I don't know what else to say. I...just wanted to help you. And... and..."

"Yoosung...?" Seven, who has woken up weakly called out to him. He slowly opened his eyes and moved to look at him. "Please don't be sad..."

"S-seven?" Yoosung didn't expect him to wake up just yet. "I-I-I-I'm s-sorry."

"Don't worry about it. It was my fault anyway." He said as he reached to touch the bandage on his forehead just to wince back in pain.

"No I shouldn't have yelled at you. I shouldn't have snapped. I shouldn't have told you all that." His cheeks burned at the last comment but he pushed it down.

"It's completely fine." Seven waved it off like it was nothing. "No need to blame yourself."

"But I am the reason you are here!" Yoosung exclaimed a tad bit outraged.

"No, it was my careless driving." Seven sighed as he winced in pain again because of talking.

"Why are you doing it again?! Quit blaming yourself." Yoosung exclaimed. "Why won't you just accept my apology?"

"Because it's not your fault! So stop blaming yourself for it!" Seven's head throbbed in pain as he snapped.

"It is my fault!" Yoosung exclaimed. "I don't understand it! Why won't you just let me take the blame for something I am guilty for?!"

"It wasn't your fault okay?!" Seven snapped although his vision was hazy because of yelling too much and the bandage on his forehead didn't help. "Why can't you just mind your own business?"

"You still don't know?! Seven I told you already. I care about you. I want to help you!" Yoosung shouted but he was getting unsure in himself. Maybe he was just a burden.

"I don't want your help. No. I don't DESERVE your help. So leave me alone before you get hurt because of me." Seven hissed as he closed his eyes. He needed to rest.

"I just want to help you! Is that such a big thing to ask?! You are already in plenty of trouble because of me! At least let me help fix it!" He yelled but then calmed down and continued in a small voice. "At least let me try to help."

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'He still didn't understand did he?' Seven let out a quiet sigh as he shut his eyes. His head hurt from all the yelling and noise. But he couldn't let Yoosung win this argument. First of all because if he lets Yoosung help, he may end up coming to the hackers and if he gets hurt, then Seven won't be able to live with himself. Second of all the hacker have caused him some trouble last night and he still had work for the agency so people were also after him. And lastly, he remembered the last thought he had before he had passed out. As a secret agent he had to give up on his love life. He was afraid that if Yoosung stayed with him, he will develop stronger feelings. But he couldn't let that happen so he needed to get rid of Yoosung and his feelings for him. And there was only one way to do this. To break him.

He took a deep breath and opened his eyes to look at Yoosung. "I don't need your help. I'm perfectly capable on my own and you shouldn't worry about me because I'm an irrelevant nobody. You don't understand how dangerous I am. The best thing you can do is get out of my sight and never talk to me again."

Yoosung let out a sound between a hiccup and a gasp as he began to tear up. "That's not how it works! I can't get rid of my feelings that easily! But maybe you can't understand because you never had feelings for anyone!"

Seven was terribly startled. So Yoosung's feelings for him were real? But no. He couldn't allow that. He must not endanger anyone's life ever again. Yoosung just has no idea what Seven does. "I don't care about your feelings alright?"

Yoosung stared at him open mouthed as his eyes filled up with tears. Soon enough, they were cascading down his cheeks. "A-at least y-you should be more c-considerate! Feelings are N-no something t-to play with."

Seven looked down on the bed so he won't see Yoosung cry. But he still heard him though.

Yoosung couldn't stop his words as heartbreak embraced him. "You a-are terribly c-cruel you k-know! You just d-don't understand f-feelings. It hurts! A l-lot you know. I... I... I hate you!"

The sobbing Yoosung stormed out of the hospital room.

Seven was about to go after him but his head throbbed in pain but that was nothing compared to the ache that he felt in his heart.

Yoosung didn't know. But he understood heartbreak very well. Rejecting the one you love, lying, acting like nothing's wrong. Yoosung didn't know that his own lies are suffocating him, like a cage building around him and if he breaks free then he will cause an earthquake that will hurt a lot of people and he will be the one responsible. But hey, you gotta keep smiling. If not for yourself, then at least for the other's around you at least. Just so they can be happy.

And Yoosung will never understand that.

Seven gradually drowned in his thoughts and fell asleep.

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Hope this makes up for the time I have been absent! Don't kill me.

Sources quoted:

Yuri on Ice (The only way is to break him)
Seven's route (I don't care about your feelings alright?!)
My friend (But hey, you gotta keep smiling)
Me (His owns lies are suffocating him, like a cage building around him)