Chapter 1

16 1 0

by victoria_miller1

by victoria_miller1

Tyler||

Laying in silence overhearing the screams of my demons in my head. Everything just feels like a blur. With these wondering eyes of mine, I look up at the ceiling and stare at it, thinking about how my life could have been if I was that happy child I was when I was 9.

I sigh and shake my head, roll over and look at the time. 3:36am, here I am, at 3:36 am waisting my life. I moan and turn back on my back. I have school tomorrow, well today. I turn over, and drift to sleep, drowning out the voices of my demons.

Josh||

Here I lay, awake, drowning in my own tears.. Depressed. Depression is horrible, it makes you feel like shit, like your worthless and it wouldn't really matter if you were gone anyway... Atleast, that's
what the voices tell me..

*knock knock*

The door opens. My mother stands looking at me. "sweetie, you have school in a few hours, sleep." I sigh, and roll my eyes. I'm 17. I'm not a child anymore. I'm a senior in highschool.

She takes her hand and wipes away my tears. I shake my head and she leaves. "I love you Joshua." I keep quiet and just smile at her. She closes the door..

The voices begin to stir. I shake my head... "Not today.. Please just let me have one free day" I cry.

Hah. You'll never be free as long as you have me.

I sigh. Shake my head and look to the ceiling. I wonder if anybody else is out there like this.. I wipe my eyes and drift to sleep.

Tyler||

Falling to my knees, I look up, I see a lifeless corpse hanging by a noose. It's me.. I done the right thing. No one needed me here anyway.

I shoot awake. Slowly sitting up on my bed, I look around, rub my eyes then rub my hands together. I sigh, looking at the dull carpet, I slowly get up, and turn my light on. I look in the mirror and see myself. I'm absolutely disgusted.

I run my finger tips over the indents in my body. Still fresh. I sigh and look down.

I grab a black polo tee, jeans and my black converse. I comb my hair. But I still look no better.

I look sleep deprived, starved, drained, disgusting.

I yawn as I head down stars. "Hey Tyler." Zack says. I just blankly stare at him, and give off a fake smile. "Honey, I made you some breakfast, and some pineapple mango juice." I look at my mom, and give her the faintest smile.

I pick around at my eggs and bacon, only taking a few bites, enough to fill me up, I wasn't really hungry. I drink the glass of juice and grab my bag.

Josh||
I groan, turning over and automatically getting up. My feet hit the cold hardwood floor. Slipping a plain black hoodie on, I walk down the hall towards the kitchen. My mother sits, drinking her tea and playing a game on her phone.

"Joshua." Her faint voice says. I turn my head towards her. "Yes mom?" She sighs and smiles at me. "Go back to bed. I called school and told them you wouldn't be there today." An ounce of relief shoots throughout me. I thank my mom before walking back up to my room. It's 4:45 in the morning, I didn't even get an hour of sleep. I sigh and slip my hoodie off, brushing up the somewhat fresh cuts on my skin.

I sigh and sit on my bed. I sigh and run my hand through my messy brown hair. My eyes, getting extremely heavy, I click the lamp shade off and fall into a deep slumber.

Josh, Why do you do this to yourself. There isn't a purpose... Wait.. I'm joking you don't have a purpose of life. All you do is bug the living heck out of everyone and never go to school. You never get enough sleep. You should kill yourself, everything you do, you mess up, you shouldn't be here anyway.

I shoot awake, I sigh, roll over and doze back off.

•

•
A/N: I hope you all enjoyed the first chapter. Im trying something new. Leave me feedback for improvements. And tell your friends to read also!