Why You?

Chapter 11

Why? Is all I can think. Why don't I feel ! He balled his hands into fist. Why could I have died . It's not that I don't want to be better it's the fact that I just can't . Just like they try to get me to eat but I can't seem to open my mouth. I want to cry but i don't feel sadness . Even laughing has been hallow . I don't want to make the others worry but I just can't help being like this. If I have a choice then why can't I stop . Niall was now pulling on his restraint trying to get up and leave so he didn't have everyone worrying about him .

Why can't I make him better? There must be something I can do. Everyone says even if he is better he'll still have off days , but I'm willing to go through them with him. He just needs to know that even if he's not okay I'll still love him. I guess it's easier said than done. Louis sighed to himself and put in earbuds listening to Coldplay trying to get the thoughts out of his head. He rolled over in Niall's bed wrapping himself in Niall's sent. Closing his eyes letting a couple of tears go he fell off to sleep.

Liam couldn't help but wonder that why now of all times when he's actually losing , lost , or was going to lose Niall that he wishes he took better care of him . That this is all his fault that he shouldn't have been so focused on himself.  Non of us saw this and it annoys him so much that Louis couldn't notice this that Louis didn't try . All Liam wants is to blame Louis even though he can't because why couldn't he do that . Why couldn't he have saved Niall before it was to late to be saved. All he wants is for everything to be normal ,but what is normal is it even a thing. Or is it like luck . Luck isn't a real thing but we all say it is . All I can do is wish . Thought Liam. Maybe I can't change it but I sure can help it.

How do I keep everyone from breaking apart? How do I keep us together? Harry thinks this as he cleans everything up in the house. He knows Louis cries himself to sleep and that Liam just stares at the ceiling all night and all harry want to do is help everyone. It kills him to know that Niall is all alone probably so furious at them for trying to help . After harry is done cleaning he goes into the basement and sings. He sings and creates like a painter painting a canvas. When he stops he sits there thinking but all of the sudden he hears to voices singing story of my life. He smiles and joins.

Louis hears a door open quickly and someone walking downstairs. Somewhat confused at what this person was doing at 3:30 in the morning he decided to check it out. He goes downstairs and runs straight into Liam falling on his but . Liam screams and turns around. Louis laughs "very manly Liam I'm surprised the windows didn't shatter." . Liam rolls his eyes and helps up Louis . " Very funny Lou I heard something and I think it's harry but I can't find him " Liam says his concern shows. They look at eachother there eyes grow huge. "But it's been months" Louis says . " Non of us have gone there for a long time" Liam says . They slowly walk into the basement which is also a small studio recording area. They both see harry finish a song . They whisper to eachother open the door so he doesn't notice and start to sing story of my life. Soon after harry joins and it's like old times .
I lay here and blame the insomnia for not being able to sleep ,there the thoughts , they keep him restless never really sleeping but escaping from the nothing and suddenly he wonders if he'll ever find peace .

A/N
You'll probably shit yourself when you see I've updated 😂I feel like the worst person in the world for never updating . It's been like a year I'm so sorry. I just idk I shouldn't make Excuses. I hope you enjoy this because it's long over due . I'm not going to promise to update frequently but I will do it more than once a year 😂 anyway I'm sorry . Thank you for all the support!