I'm The Alpha's Challenge

62 Josh POV

Josh

A sharp pain hit my stomach at the thought and I felt myself shifting. A weakened cry escaped my lips and I clutched at my stomach, tears flowing down my cheeks. She… she couldn't be. No… It… it wasn't possible. I loved her. I couldn't lose her.

That wouldn't be the last time I heard her voice. It wouldn't be the last time I held her in my arms. It wouldn't be the last time I felt her kiss. It wouldn't be the last time I told her I loved her. It couldn't be. It just… couldn't.

My vision blurred and I could no longer feel my finger clutching at the snow covered ground. All I could feel was the pain spreading through me, tugging at my heart and closing my throat. Breathing wouldn't come. I sucked in breath after breath, but the cold stung and my chest was closing in on itself. It was the need to fill the spacious, aching hole where my happiness used to be. My numb fingers clutched for something, anything to hold onto. I felt like I was falling, floating, drifting through nothingness.

She was gone.

My love, my life. She was gone. I would never see her anxiously bit her lip again, or look up at me with those beautiful brown eyes. I would never again feel her skin brush mine, or marvel as her cheeks darkened in embarrassment. Her tiny hands would never grasp mine again. Mostly, I would never hear her sweet voice again.

I was frozen. The only source of heat was the searing tears racing down my cheeks. Everything was drained from me in that second, with that one thought. With the little strength I had, I sat up slowly, the trees blurring before me. My mind was blank. No thoughts came to me, no plan to rescue her even if she was still alive. So I did the only thing I could do at the moment. I prayed.

I don't know how long I kneeled there, on that hard, frozen ground covered in a white blanket with my arms folded. It could have been hours, minutes, or days. I poured all of my heart, my soul, my pain and love into those words. Nothing else mattered in those moments. My thoughts were consumed with faith and trust.

Just as I said "Amen" my pocket began to buzz. Reluctantly, my numb fingers pulled out my phone to answer it.

"Hello?" I was surprised of the gravel in my voice, the pain that was so evident there.

"Joshua?" Mother's voice was worried, distant. "Are you alright?"

I almost didn't answer her. "No."

"Of course not," she sighed.

"What do you want?" I snapped, my voice coming out harsher than normal.

She growled. "The General Store called. They want you to come out for training."

My sense shot up. "What? I-I can't work." Not now. Not after this.

"Honey… you asked for this job. It would be rude not to accept this."

"Mom," I growled. "I can't. I have to find Danny. I can't waste my time working for some crappy small town store!"

"You have ta step up and take responsibility, Joshua. I suggest you go. Now."

She was using the Alpha's Voice. Although, it didn't work quite so well over the phone. The numbness subsided and anger built in my chest as the effects of the Voice covered me. I fought it, growling lowly in my throat.

"No," I forced out through clenched teeth.

"You have ta be prepared to take Alpha!" Her voice was rising, and I knew I was pushing her temper. "A job would be good for you."

"I can't be Alpha without a mate!" This was the first fight my mother and I had had for a long time. But I stayed firm to my argument. "And I won't. Not without Danny."