DECEMBER 26th 1963

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OH FUCK! OH FUCK! OH FUCK! OH FUCK! I went too far, this is really bad. Remember when I said I was worried about how the news in November would affect Alf? Well I guess I was right, how fucking nice! Last night we had the Christmas party, and like adults we had alcohol. Alf has too much to drink, so he says he's going to bed early that night. I even thought "Good for him". Once me and Tali head to our room in the basement we hear the door lock behind us. ALF WAS IN THE FUCKING ROOM!

He starts going on about how I'm part of some secret group, how I'm responsible for the virus. Tali was visibly scared, and I told her to lock herself in the bathroom. For some reason Alf waits for her to go before he pulls a knife out of his pocket... you can tell where this is going... It wasn't even hard to disarm him, he was stumbling around drunk, even fell on his own.

Then, in the back of my mind I saw an opportunity. Alf was dangerous, and now I had the perfect chance. I wasn't myself, I wasn't anyone, just an idea. When I snapped back to reality, it was like I blacked out. My mind had gone on a brief holiday while my body took over. The knife was in my hands, and there was blood everywhere... Tali had came out of the bathroom for a quick moment, and then ran back inside, hiding from me! I don't even know what she saw, I could barely see anything, I was more focused on figuring out what happened. And then it sunk in...

Everything came back in a slow and petrifying wave of regret and change. It was like an epiphany, and then I broke. I fucking cut a hole in the bathroom door and crawled in. Tali was screaming at me to stop, throwing anything she could grab at me. I just wanted her to forget. Briefly ignoring her, I opened the cabinet and pulled out a jar of muscle relaxants. Slowly I walked up to Tali, and pushed half the pills in the jar down her mouth. She was gagging every time I forced my fingers down her throat, but soon she was limp.

I opened the bathroom door and dragged her into Alf's treatment room. Being careful as to not hurt her, I gently strapped her to the chair with some belts and started my work. I was done around four in the morning, and left her in there as I worked on cleaning up the mess. As of now, Tali is completely fine, she doesn't even remember who Alf is. Tobi's group is going to start asking questions soon, so... fuck... this isn't me, but what else can I do? Do I have to get every person here into that room? I don't see a way around it... I don't think I should write in here for a while.

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