Bullied by The Sidemen

Chapter 20

My mind was on my new apartment.

I couldn't hear a thing in there. Silence was something I wasn't used to, especially since just having lived with four loud, crazy guys.

I felt my eyes well up with tears as I thought about my small, empty place. But, I knew what I was doing was the best for the guys. I couldn't be the one to ruin their lives any more than I already had; I don't think I could've lived with myself. So, after the confrontation with Simon and Josh, I ran.

Ran away, got a taxi back to the house, got all of my stuff, and left. I didn't even leave a note.

My heart felt heavy, knowing that I was never going to wake up to the boys' stupid shouting, never be able to taste JJ's horrible cooking, or laugh at Josh's random cursing again.

Josh was all I really thought about now. It was so cringey I was even embarrassed of myself, but every time he popped into my head, I smiled. Even though I had nothing now, and he was miles away, he still made me happy.

"Excuse me?" A voice broke me out of my thoughts.

"Can I get a vanilla latte please?" the customer in front of me asked.

It had been two months since I left the sidemen house, and thankfully I'd gotten a job in a little coffee shop. The pay wasn't really enough to be comfortable, but I was surviving. 

It had been a long day, and we were just about to close up. I turned my back on the customer, using the machine to get her the order. The door chimed, and I rolled my eyes. It was just typical for someone to come in at the last conceivable moment.

I finished making the latte and turned to hand it over, taking the money as the woman thanked me and left. I looked up from the till, and my jaw dropped.

Standing in front of me, looking just as shocked as I imagined I did, was Vikk.

"Ava..." He started, trailing off when he realised there was so much to say, he didn't know where to start.

"Don't, please Vikk. Please." I begged. "They can't know about this. Please don't say anything."

"We need to talk Ava, seriously. You have no idea what's been happening without you." His voice wavered, scaring me.

I closed up the shop, before making us both a drink and sitting down. I couldn't sit still I was shaking so much, anxious about the whole situation.

"We're done. The sidemen are done." Vikk said. My heart dropped as soon as the words left his mouth. I was the cause of this.

"JJ's moved out after everything that happened in Vegas, Simon is constantly furious, and Josh won't come out of his room. I haven't seen him in a week Ava. I live with the guy, and I haven't seen him in an entire week. I don't know if he's okay, sleeping, or even eating ."

I felt my heart break even more at this; I genuinely couldn't imagine Josh so broken.

"Simon's angry, more than you could know. And I know it was all a lie to begin with, but I think he really fell in love with you, and that's why he's so mad. It's the betrayal I guess. I walked in on him crying, Ava. In all the years I've known him; it was the first time I'd ever seen him cry."

"Ethan, Tobi, and Harry are trying their best to come as often as they can to help fix things between Josh and Simon, but Josh's absence isn't helping, and Simon just screams at everyone."

"You need to come back Ava. Come back home." He finally finishes rambling.

We sat in silence for a while, Vikk waiting for me to take in everything he just blurted out. I was speechless, and so, so confused.

"Vikk, I'm not coming back. I left because I'm the problem. I've caused every single problem you guys have ever had, and I just can't do that anymore."

His expression turned to one of anger at this, something he didn't often show.

"You're being selfish, and if I'm honest, quite pathetic. If you opened your eyes you'd understand that the actual problem is you leaving without a word. Each and every one of us depended on you, Ava, and you vanished." His voice began to rise louder as he continued, his fury intensifying. He jumped up, knocking over his chair, and stormed away.

He opened the door on his way out and stopped for a moment.

"Maybe you deserved everything that happened in school after all." He uttered sharply, before disappearing out onto the street.

His words felt like a stab, tearing apart any sort of strength I had to hold myself together. He knew that would hurt me more than I could take.

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From then on, every day seemed like a depressing blur. I had cried so much that night after I saw Vikk, I couldn't cry anymore.

It had been two weeks since our conversation, and although it broke me, he clearly still respected me enough not to have told the boys.

I doubt he or any of them would want to see me again. Especially Josh.

He probably hates me after all I did. It didn't matter, though, because I would always remember him as the cheerful, crazy, supportive guy constantly there for me.

I continued to work in my boring job, dully greeting serving customers and standing around all day.

When that bell on the door chimed, my heart would skip a beat each time without fail, the tiniest part of me hoping it was Josh to come and tell me everything was back to normal, and that he forgave me.

The bell chimed, right on cue, and I laughed a little at my own sad fantasy.

I didn't even bother to look up from what I was doing, until I saw a hand on the counter. A small golden ring was on its smallest finger; I could recognise it anywhere.

"Simon." I whispered, afraid to look up. Lifting my head, my eyes met his, which reflected indignation and had a certain tinge of sadness.

"Can I get two mochas please? One for me, and one for my girlfriend." He said unwaveringly, gesturing to the girl standing beside him.

I took a glance at her, feeling sick to my stomach when I realised it was Laura.

"Do I know you?" Simon continued, a malicious smirk plastered across his face. I took a step back, holding my face as if I'd just been slapped.

At this point I didn't even know what to do with myself, feeling the panic rising in my chest.

Taking a few deep breaths, I stood up straight, lifted my head, and looked Laura directly in the eyes. She couldn't even hold eye contact with me, and for once in my life, I felt in control of my anxiety.

"Get out of here, and don't come back." My voice rang clearly throughout the shop, causing the silence of all the customers sitting in. But I didn't care. I was done with being afraid of what other people thought.
I was done with Simon.