The Dance

Chapter 14

"So Ali let's talk about the movie"

"What about it"

"Why can't you watch it"

"Well I thinks it's obvious as to why I can't"

"Ali this isn't going to work if you don't use your words"

"Oh i can use my words alright"

Xavier chuckles and Rudy looks like he's trying not to laugh

I sigh, "it's to real"

"How"

I look out at the window as the memories run through my head

"Every time I see that movie it comes to life again I still remember that night like it was yesterday and watching that movie it just makes it all the more real" I say playing with my necklace

"What's that " I look at Rudy and he's looking at my necklace, I look down and I sigh

"It's my ring, J- Jackson my fiancé had just proposed to me and we were celebrating it and the fact that we were going to start a family." at this Rudy's eyebrows rose

"You were"

"Yes I was key word being was I lost the baby that night along with my fiancé and you want to know how big my baby was." I say with anger "Raspberry, my baby was the size of a raspberry, I never got to feel it's kicks hear it's heartbeat to see it or to even know it's gender I never got that chance" I say crying

"I'm sorry"

"Don't I don't want your pity "

"How do you feel about that"

"You did not just asked me that"

There was a hint of a smile on his face

"You want to know what I'm effing feeling like freaking shit and I'm mad every time i think about my baby, my fiancé or that night or even the simple things like his eyes his hair scent anything. I get so freaking mad cause that was ripped away from me all at once. Then I think about our baby what it would look like me or him would it have my laugh and his eyes or vice versa would it have mine or his hair would it have his dimple everything I keep picturing what it would be like but it doesn't bring peace if anything it brings the total opposite it's brings pain and agony cause I reminds me that I will never get to know and that pisses me off. I'm so mad like what did I do to deserve this to happen to me .

"Let's talk about you how are you doing"

"Honestly before I wouldn't know how I was doing but know I think I'll be ok"

"And why is that"

"I don't know really it's just here recently I'm feeling better"

"Can you pinpoint when"

"The dance" i say looking a Xavier almost forgetting that he was here, "It was like relief when I was dancing I could just forget about everything and just focus on something else"

"You danced again!Amber said something about you dancing but quit after the wreck"

"Yeah i did"

"Ok well let's talk about that day i know we are jumping around I just didn't want to dive right in until you were ready"

~~~~~ Flashback ~~~~

It was July 12th and I had woken up throwing up once again Amber had stayed the night with me cause Jackson was gone and wasn't returning until that night and my parents were working so Amber stayed the night. She was holding my hair.