Next To My Heart (Zarry AU)

Part 16

Harry doesn't know what he expected, but it's not this. It's Saturday again, but even with Liam standing right in front of him, things feel off. He tries to think back to this week, if Zayn said anything or hinted at something being wrong, but his mind comes up blank.

Maybe he's just imagining things.

Except he's not. He sees it in Liam's eyes, the faint circles underneath them and how his smile appears tired more than anything. It worries him, because after all this time Liam is his friend, but when he asks, the question is simply deflected. Harry knows when someone doesn't want to talk, no matter how much he hates not knowing what's making them sad. So he opts for normalcy; something he knows he appreciates whenever he's feeling down. Just having someone else to pretend with, act as if nothing's wrong. Of course it's not the healthy way of dealing with things, but it's like a breath of fresh air after all the moping and thinking.

What surprises him even more is when Zayn is his normal self. Acts as if nothing's wrong when Liam pecks him on the cheek and disappears inside the apartment.

Harry waits for Liam to be out of earshot before he turns towards Zayn. ''Hey, everything okay?''

''Yeah.'' Zayn frowns at Harry's question. ''Why wouldn't it be?''

''Just asking.'' Harry shrugs, his fingers grasping onto his bag a little tighter. He's confused, because things aren't right, but he doesn't know what exactly or how or since when.

Why is he even so worried in the first place? If something is going on between Liam and Zayn, that's their business. Only... it scares Harry, because if there's trouble in paradise, it's going to affect Zayn. And that doesn't sit well with him, makes him restless, the way he used to get when he had to wait for exam results. Unable to sit still or concentrate.

Harry mentally berates himself for ending up in this situation in the first place. He has already accepted the fact that he's in love with Zayn, has been for a while. That makes Zayn's well being incredibly important to him, which, in this situation, only complicates matters.

See, he just wants Zayn to be happy, and if that is with Liam, so be it. He accepted that. Not that he's happy with it - quite the opposite - but he knows there's nothing to be done. If anything happens between Zayn and Liam, worst case scenario being them breaking up, then Zayn wouldn't be happy. Harry isn't okay with that. Not completely, anyway. The only thing that makes him doubt how he feels about it is that, Liam would be out of the picture, which would increase his own chances-

No, that's bad thinking. Selfish thinking. Hopeless thinking.

Sure, he can see Zayn likes him. They're friends, that should be enough evidence. Only he can't see it blossoming into something more, not even if Liam and Zayn weren't a couple anymore. Harry doesn't think he's Zayn's type, isn't even sure what Zayn looks for in a relationship. If it's anything Harry can give him.

Maybe them being friends for so long makes it weird to Zayn. When Harry thinks about dating Louis or Niall, he just can't see it. It makes him uncomfortable, because they're his friends.

And what about Liam? He'll be sad, too. Harry doesn't like any of his friends being sad. Also, if they did break up, he wouldn't see Liam as much anymore. There are so many cons and the only pro he can come up with is that Zayn would be single.

Does that make him a terrible human being?

Who knows.

He tries not to think about it anymore as he finishes his conversation with Zayn, stepping inside his own apartment feeling like he brought much more than just baked goods inside. Emotional baggage, is what it is. Just worries added on top of worries, the same thing he keeps thinking about over and over again.