You're Not Eleanor!!!

Chapter 19-Drama Time

Chapter 19- Drama Time

One hour.

That’s how much I locked myself in this room.  One single hour, and it felt like a week.  My eyes were puffy from all the crying.   The boys are sleeping, except Niall and Zayn.  Zayn is doing who knows what and Niall is with his girlfriend probably doing couple stuff.

The thought of Niall and Anabelle made me want to cry.

I can’t think of that.  I have to move one.  Niall clearly did, and so should I.  I need to move on; it will be hard to stop my feelings for him.

I sniffed and wrapped the blanket around me,  I wish I can cry and let everything out, but I can’t cry anymore.  As much as I want to nothing comes out.  He hurt me and I know he didn’t do It intentionally but….I can’t help but feel betrayed.  I know Niall and I never went out, but it hurts so much.  I never thought I’d have my heart broken by him.

“Clarissa..”

I didn’t answer back.  Zayn sat down on the bed right beside me.  I could feel his breathing and I can feel his stare burning on the back of my head.

“Are you okay?”

“No.” was that a trick question?

“He wasn’t good enough for you…”  He whispered out.  “-also I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about them.”

I shrugged not even bothering to look at him.  What he said was a lie.  Niall is good enough for me, he was a great friend and I was way to out of his league.  I understand why he’s with Anabelle.  She’s so beautiful and probably has an amazing career.  Then there’s me.  There’s nothing special about me.

 It’s the other way around, I wasn’t good enough for Niall.

Now that I thought about it; I feel even worse.  “You should of just told me Zayn, You don’t understand how it feels to walk in on the person you love with another person.”

“Clarissa….please don’t say those words until you actually find someone and mean it.” 

My eyes widened and I was in shock.  I quickly sat up and look at Zayn.  I remember someone said those exact same words a long time ago.  I looked straight as his eyes.

“It was you.”  I choked out, and he just nodded.  He was the boy from the foster home, the one I had a huge crush on.  The one that left me and told me we’d meet again someday.  I almost forgot about him, but it all made sense now.  When he said he actually always ‘fancied’ me, this job, being over protective of me.

“W-why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because if I made you remember…I would of loved you even more than I do.”  I couldn’t answer back.  “Clarissa why don’t you understand that all this was because of you.  I made Eleanor get you this job; you’re here because of me.  I promised you that we’d meet again, and yes I was angry at you at first because you didn’t remember….Then I saw how close you were to Niall and I saw how you looked at him. “

“I’m so sorry.”  I croaked out. 

Zayn hugged me. “It’s okay.”

“No it’s not.”  I was hurting because of how Niall moved on and I had feelings for him, but I was doing the same thing to Zayn.  I don’t know how he did it.