Help Is Only So Far Away

Part 8

Quirrell slammed the door shut, before collapsing against it. He heard Voldemort yelling at the others. He heard everyone outside leaving in a commotion, meaning Voldemort had already left. He was gone. He was alive! Hundreds of thoughts and questions were crowding his mind and he felt like he couldn't breath. Falling to the floor, a small tear slid down his cheek as his head fell into his hands. What the hell had just happened?! Voldemrt was alive! His heart lifted just the tiniest bit at the thought. That meant that all the mourning and horrible grief had been for nothing. He had been crying over an empty casket. He smashed his head back against the door and felt the warm rush of pain flood over him, reassuring somehow. What he needed right now, was to make a list of things he knew. That always helped.

1. Voldemort was alive. Simple yet still did not seem real and more like a crazy dream.

2. That meant Quirrell had been in this state for no reason. If Voldemort had been alive this whole time and had known where Quirrell was, why hadn't he come sooner? That hurt to think of him knowing and not doing anything about it.

3. Voldemort betrayed him and was the reason Quirrell had been in Azkaban, so partly being the reason he was kicked out of his own family. Just another thing to add to the pile of incidents where Voldemort fucked him over.

4.Security had had to physically pull him off Voldemort. Which was bad. He was probably going to get in major troube for that.

5. He was still living in a hotel with no job, barely any money and his possessions being only his clothes and his wand. Soon, his money would run out and then he would be removed from the hotel.

6. He had just told Voldemort to leave forever.....

He felt broken. Pieces of him weren't fitting together like they had before, pulling away from each other, all wanting different things. He bashed his head against the door again to try and stop his thoughts, welcoming the warmth and pain with open arms. Everything in his life had become a mess. Curse the day he chose to enter the Forbidden Forest.

The tears were like a river now, streaming down his face and onto the floor. Why did he have to cry? Hadn't he cried enough recently? You'd think he had no more tears left, but here they were. Wizard God, he was such a crybaby. He was weak, frail, and had a stutter. The woman, Emily, had even told him these things, just confirming that they were true. Astrid.....she was just a figment of his imagination. None of the things she said were real. He deserved to be in Azkaban after the things he had done. Azkaban was literal hell and he deserved it. He understood that now, the things his parents had said were right. He had been too exhausted and drained to understand before but now he did. They were right. Everyone was right about him. He was a criminal, a monster.

Weeks passed and all Quirrell did was mope around. He would just accio food and drink and that was all the magic he did. There was nothing else he could do. Sleeping wasn't an option anymore. The nightmares wouldn't leave him alone. They haunted him every night with memories. Awful, awful memories. Never giving him any peace. He was a mess. No one did come about the Incident and that was good at least. Quirrell thought and thought and thought. None stop. Whether he wanted to or not, he was just plagued by them. He drowned them out in any way he could. Drinking (accio was a really useful spell!), listening to music so loud he was nearly deaf, watching TV for hours. Sometimes it worked, sometimes not.

On about the 3rd week, Quirrell looked in the mirror. He was pale and there were dark circles under his sunken eyes. Bones pertruding, his skin stretchedtight around them, no fat to fill in the gaps in his ribs. His shirt and trousers were baggy on him, his tie lost and long forgotten. He'd gotten changed out of his Azkaban robe ages ago, but had not changed since. He hadn't showered and could tell how badly he smelt and how horrible his hair was, but he didn't care. He didn't want to get up to shower. His mud-brown eyes were now dull. He looked fucking awful. He looked sick and deathly. There was probably some spell to fix some of the problems but there probably wasnt a spell to fix everything about him.

A knock on the door pulled him out of his thoughts. Why was someone knocking? No one would be here to visit him. He looked back in the mirror and straightened his shirt, tucking it in and saw his wide eyes. God, way to show you're scared again! The knock was more persistent this time.

He walked to the door, took a deep breath and opened it.

Then screamed and shut it. There was a dementor!!!! Just outside! His heart was pounding so fast, it would probably explode. He ran to the armchair, where he was sure he had left his wand. He scrabbled for it. No wand. Bed? No wand. Bedside table? NO FUCKING WAND!!!!! Oh WIzard God, he was going back. He was going to be dragged back. Probably die or maybe even given Dementor's kiss!! This couldn't be happening! Frantically, he was looking in every direction for an exit. He couldn't find one. Shit, shit, shit, shit!!! He heard the door bang. Oh fuck. He was hyperventialting a little at this point. He cowered away from the door as it was banged upona again and swallowed. There was nothing else, he could do. He was going to die!

The door broke open.

"Are you okay?" Quirrell slowly opened his eyes which had been clenched shut. There was a guy standing there, in the black hotel uniform, looking at him warily. No dementor. What the hell had just happened to him. The wizard opened his mouth to speak but felt no words climb his dry throat so just nodded hesitantly.

"Are you sure? You don't seem okay." Quirrell nodded again and stoop up fully from his huddled position in the corner and walked over to the chair before sitting down. The guy watched him before shaking his head slightly and sitting on the only other chair, turning to face him.

"Well, I am sure you know that you haven't paid in quite a while and we were getting worried." Quirrell made a slight groaning noise. He knew this would happen. "Can you pay us now? If not, I'm afraid you are going to have to leave."

Quirrell just slumped over and shook his head. "I'll g-go pack m-my b-bags then."

"Are you sure you are okay?" Quirrell nodded. "Do you have anywhere else to go?" He looked dead into the man's green eyes. He didn't answer the question, just stared.

"Should I take that as a no?" Quirrell kept looking at him. "Look man. You look absolutely awful. You're obviously not looking after yourself very well. You can always come stay at my place for a bit till you get back on your feet. I wouldn't mind and you look like you need it."

"Oh, I-I couldn't p-possibly do th-that. I w-wouldn't want t-to imp-pose." Quirrell got up and started searching for his wand.

"Seriously man. Do you have anywhere to stay? Any family? Friends? Colleagues?" Quirrell looked up at him with sad eyes and shook his head. He could feel the tears forming for what felt like the 1000th time. He turned away quickly so the man wouldn't see. He found his wand. It was in the chest of drawers. He quickly put it in his pocket, out of sight.

"Okay, look I don't know your name but I really think you should come stay with me. Otherwise you're gonna end up on the streets and I will not sit by and just let that happen. You understand?" Quirrell nodded and felt a small smile appear on his face.

"Good, you just gather up your stuff. I'll be finished in," he checked his watch. "around 45 minutes. If you stay here and I'll come get you then."

"Th-thank y-you!" He said and girnned. The man got up and grinned at him.

"No problem, dude." He started to walk out but just as he got to the dooor he turned around. "What's your name by the way?"

"Q-Quirrell."

"Nice to meet you Quirrell. My name's Tyler. See you in a bit." And he left. Quirrell grinned as he collapsed in the armchair, trying to ignore the worrying thought that he was going crazy. That he had just hallucinated a Dementor.

A/N Sorry it took a week to update but I've been rather busy. I'll try to do it so that I update at least once a week, otherwise this will never get finished.

Who can see what's going on? Can anyone tell what is going to happen next?

The next bit has a Bellatrix bit in it if you were wondering. I haven't forgotten about Her Evilness. So yeah. I hope you readers are enjoying this.