In This Life

Chapter 3

Chapter 3:

Day 25: I have 40 days left of summer so far I’ve gotten beat 2 times a day meaning I’ve gotten 50 beatings this summer. Does anyone care? Of course not! You may ask where my mom is... Yeah well she left when I was born she said  that I was going to tear her and my dad apart. My dad is still mad at me for her leaving and obviously I’ve payed for it. My dad always yells at me saying that they were in love and I had to come along and ruin everything. But you know that’s just me. You see I come into people’s lives and ruin them I bring them down, annoy them, hurt them, and some people say their day was ruined just by my presence.

Right now I’m in my room. I’m laying on my bed staring into my black walls. Everything seems so much darker now a days. There is no more light in the world. No place to hide from the hurt, the anger, and violence because that’s all there is anymore.

 

I’m walking through a dark forest, I’m cold and scared. Where am I? Fear wipes over me... I glance behind me... A shadowy figure is standing in the midsts of the trees... I start running only to find myself at the edge of a cliff. The shadowy figure is catching up to me... I take a small step back and WHOOSH I’m falling to my doom...

 

I wake with a start. I’m shaking all over...What was that thing running at me? I look at my clock 3am. I can hear grunts from downstairs. Great I thought. My dad must be having another beer. You know this is one of the reasons his beatings are so bad sometimes. He comes to beat me not really understanding fully what he is doing. He comes up to me and starts and doesn’t stop till he gets tired.

I miss my mom so much... I think while tears run down my face. Why did she have to leave us? They roll down my face and fall onto my thighs, right where my scars are. No, not the scars from him beating me, the scars from when I used to cut. Yes, cut... This was during my time of deepest despair. This was before Griffin came along. He had moved here when I was in my 8th grade year. I cut my 6th and 7th grade years. All my friends had left me and I had absolutely no one. But how can you blame them? It was a miracle that I even had Griffin. Gosh. I was crying again remembering that Griffin was still far away. So far that in order for my to get to him I would have to take a 5 hour flight. Gosh how I missed him.  

I slowly went back to my room praying I wouldn’t make any noise and he would still think I was asleep.

Phew... I thought I had made it to my room without a single sound. I went into my closet and grabbed the suitcase on the top shelf. I was getting out of here. I could not live here anymore. My best friend was gone, my dad wanted me dead, and honestly I wasn’t sure I wanted to be alive myself... If I didn’t get out of here tonight I might as well kill myself, it would be less painful.

So this was it. I packed all the clothes I needed, went into my bathroom and packed all the essentials. After I was finished I tiptoed into my dads room (he was still down stairs) and found his stash of money. I grabbed as much as I could and went as fast as I could to my room without making a sound. I counted through the money and realized there was a couple thousand in cash here. “Where did he get this?” I thought. I shrugged it off and opened my window. My room wasn’t that far from the ground so I could jump without breaking anything. I threw my suitcase down first and then jumped. I was free.