Smile {M.C}

1- "Are you okay? You left so suddenly."

"Michael, I'm sorry I can't do this anymore!" Natalie yelled, taking a bag from her closet. I was panicked, I didn't know what to do. What the hell was happening? It was so sudden, we were eating at the table and she just runs up to the bedroom upset.

"What? Natalie, what happened?" I asked, she ignored me. I touched her shoulder. She flinched, why would she flinch? "Natalie what's wrong? What did I do wrong?" She suddenly turned around.

"Michael, don't make this harder than it already is." Her voice was trembling and she wouldn't look at me while she put her folded clothes in a bag, when did she fold those?

"Natalie, please tell me what I did wrong" What happened?

"You're so emotionally unavailable, you've been so sad lately and you never tell me why!" She cried, the mascara running down her rosy cheeks. I was flustered. "Aren't you going to say something?" Silence. "Say something!" Silence. My heart was pounding in my chest. I wanted to move. "I can't anymore Michael, it's over!"

She grabbed her know fully packed bag and walked out of the room. It was like everything was flashing before my eyes. I wanted to run after her, it wasn't too late! But I couldn't. It was like I was trapped, I couldn't speak, or move, my legs wouldn't move! Why wouldn't they move?! Fucking move goddamn it!

It was too late.

~

SEVEN MONTHS LATER

"Goodnight L.A.!" I screamed to the roaring crowd. A smile adorned my face, I was happy for those few hours. I ran backstage, the smile slowly disappearing. I closed the door to my changing room and took off my guitar. I sat on the sofa and stared at the wall for a few minutes.

Life. What's the point of life? I'd give a million dollars to the person who had the answer.

Why am I even here? I should've been gone a long time ago.

"Hey, Fucker!" I heard Calum yell over the door while knocking obnoxiously.

"What the fuck do you want?" I screamed, running a hand through my wild hair and getting up to open the door.

"What got your panties up in a bunch? Geez! Oh wait. Did I interrupt you?" He whispered the last part in a mocking way. It took a second for the dots to connect, but knowing Calum I understood.

"What's wrong with you? You fucking perv!" I pushed him out and slammed the door, while he laughed like a dork.

I sat back down and went back to staring at the wall.

"Michael!" Luke yelled opening the door without knocking and stood in front of me, his hands on his hips. He looked like an angry mom, it would've been quite funny for anybody else but not for me. "Tonight we are going out all together, to pick up hot chicks! You haven't been out in a nightclub for 6 months!"

"How about I don't want to fucking go and you can't force me!" I snarled at him, getting up and pushing him back. He stumbled back in shock, looking hurt.

"Hey! Michael calm the fuck down!" Ashton intervened, placing a hand on my shoulder. I backed away. They didn't how I felt, nobody did. "I think I know how you feel, I've felt it before, I was in pain too but you're hurting the people around you and you don't even realize it."

What he said made me calm down. I know Ashton used to be slightly depressed, I wanted to say to myself that he did know how I feel, that I wasn't alone but I am and nobody did really understand.

~

I didn't want to be here, but those assholes forced me to. The annoying music was pounding in my ears and I felt like throwing up, I hadn't even drunk anything.
"Michael why aren't you dancing man!" A semi-drunk Calum screamed in my face, I flinched.

"Don't feel like it."

"My god you're so boring! Drink, dance, fuck some chicks, live life!" He laughed, jumping away from me, doing a 'whoop' motion with his left arm. I rolled my eyes, this would've made me smile before...

I watched as Calum practically humped the bum of some girl, she didn't seem to mind, she was grinding on his dick too, I guess that's what dancing is now...fucking on a dance floor.

I sat down at the bar and ordered a beer. I looked to my right and saw a pretty hot girl looking at me and winking. I just starred at her but she scooted her stool closer to mine.
"Hey there handsome." She purred. Her breath reeked of alcohol, I cringed. She had fiery red hair and the bluest eyes I had ever seen. She wore ruby red lipstick on her lips, which went nicely with her hair. She had a lot of eye makeup on though.

"Hey." I replied nonchalantly, slightly shrugging. It made her smile, she twirled her finger in her hair and bit her lip. After a 10 minute conversation, we went into the bathroom and fucked. I didn't feel a thing.

~

I stared at the ceiling of my bedroom. Just thinking of anything and everything. I thought maybe having sex with that girl earlier that night would make me feel something. Nothing. She was leaned against the sick while fucking herself on my dick, I hadn't even moved, she must've thought something was wrong with me. I guess it felt a little good but I hated every second of it. I hadn't even come and I didn't give a fuck.

Why am I like this? I don't want to live like this. Maybe if I just tied it a little tighter it would work...

I looked at my closet about to get up and open it when someone knocked on my door.
"Michael?" It was Luke, he sounded worried.

"What?" Maybe not tonight, not tonight.

"Are you okay? You left so suddenly." He opened the door, he was a little tipsy and it had been 1 minute since he came home and he managed to take of his pants.

"I'm fine, dude. Just tired." I explained. He nodded and told me goodnight.

I lied back down.

Why? Why am I still here?

~

A/N

Hey there! It's my first chapter! I'm sorry it's so fast paced (it won't be like that in the future) and weird and sorry if I made any grammatical mistakes, I suck at that. But hey give it a chance, I would love if you wrote comments and stuff! Seriously though I like comments better than votes it shows how you feel! Also in the later chapters it will really get into the depths of Michael's depression. Sorry it's trashy in the beginning, it will not be like that the entire book! If I get comments I'll post the second chapter this weekend!