This Is Not A Joke

Chapter Nine

"They've been gone for forever." I sighed and crossed my arms. I tapped my foot impatiently.

"Eliana, calm down. It's been, like, ten minutes." Sal put his hand on my thigh and my foot stopped tapping. I felt a blush rising on my cheek.

"Yeah El. It's the apocalypse. Let them have some fun." Joe smirked at me and gyrated his hips.

I rolled my eyes and took another bite of the sandwich he made me. I felt like I hadn't eaten in ages. I ate it slowly, though. I wanted it to last as long as possible. We only had a limited supply of food.

Moments later, Bailey and Murr were skipping up the steps of the bus. They were holding hands and giggling. Jealousy bubbled in my stomach and I tried to ignore it.

"Have fun?" Joe waggled his eyebrows and both Murr and Bailey blushed.  "Well you guys must be starving from all of that physical activity. There's some sandwiches here if you want." He pointed to the table and they nodded.

I shook my head as they sat down next to each other on the couch. He slung his arm over her shoulder and she kissed his cheek. They smiled wide at each other.

My chest hurt and I longed to feel like that. Tears welled in my eyes and I bit my lip. "Is it okay if I lay down in your bed for a little bit Sal?"

He looked at me, questioningly, but nodded. I nodded my thanks and made my way to his room. "Come get me when we get to New York." I called behind me before shutting the door.

I felt the bus roar to life and sat down on the comfy bed. I cocooned myself I the blanket. I heard a meow and Shadow launched herself into my arms. I kissed her nose. "Have you been hiding in here?" She purred in response. "Sal's gonna kill you."

I sat the cat on the bed beside me. She grumbled and curled up against my legs. I pulled my knees to my chest and buried my face in my knees.

Flashbacks of the past few days flashed through my mind. Everything was perfectly fine and it all went to shit. Why did shit like this have to happen? What caused it to happen?

I felt a tear trickle down my cheek as I thought of the girl with the blonde hair and blue eyes. Her panicked expression, the scream that left her lips, the blood that rolled down her neck.

A sob left my throat when I thought of my parents. How innocent and naive my mom had been, believing that it was just some crazy person that had bit my father. How scared she had been on the phone. How I had never told her I loved her.

I let the tears roll freely as my mind went on and on. I shook with every sob.

I thought of Bailey. How lucky she was that she didn't have much family to worry about. How lucky she was to have Murr. I felt the jealousy rise in my stomach again and couldn't help but lash out and punch the bed.

It wasn't fair. No matter what Bailey always got what she wanted. She always had the better life. I always got stuck with the short end of the stick. She fucking got laid during the zombie apocalypse for gods sakes.

I had never really had a boyfriend before. I know. Sad isn't it? Bailey and I were inseparable and every guy we talked to ended up with her. I had never felt loved. I had never been touched. I was always alone.

I sobbed uncontrollably to the point where I could barely breathe. My whole body shook with every breath I took.

I heard a knock at the door and tried to steady my breathing. I wiped the tears away from my face furiously. Whoever it was knocked again.

"Come in." I barely squeaked out. I wiped my face in the blanket as Sal peaked around the door.

"Are you okay?" He came in and sat on the bed. I nodded and he shook his head. "No you're not. We can hear you through the wall, you know."

I felt angry, then. I punched the bed again and Sal looked at me surprised. He held my hands in his. "Eliana, calm down."

I shook my head. "I can't calm down Sal. It's so hard."

"I know El, but everything will be okay. You promised." He looked at me with his big green eyes.

"Yeah. Well I said a lot of things." I looked away from him and bit the inside of my cheek. "I'm just a stupid girl Sal. I don't know anything."

He grabbed my chin and made me look into his eyes. "That's not true Eliana. Not at all. You are a strong, brave, beautiful woman. You're smart and funny and did I mention that you're fucking bad ass?! You're amazing, El."

I shrugged. "That's your opinion." I turned my attention to the blanket.

"Eliana you know it's true. I could go on and on for days."

I felt heat rising in my cheeks. "Really?"

He smiled at me. "Yes really. Now come on let's go back out there." He started to get up and I pulled him back down.

I shook my head at him. "I don't wanna go back out there. I wanna be away from everyone for a little bit."

"Oh." His voice dropped. "Well I'll be out there if you need me." He started to get up again.

"Oh stop it you big goof. You can stay. I want you to stay." He smiled at me and sat back down on the bed.

"What's wrong? Why don't you want to go back?" He pulled himself on the bed and sat in front of me.

I looked away from him and fiddled with the blanket. "It's stupid."

He shook his head. "Nothing you say could ever be stupid."

I shrugged. "Bailey and I have been best friends since the first day of kindergarten. We've been completely inseparable. The only problem is that her life has always been way better than mine. She was never close with her family. They gave her everything she wanted as long as she stayed out of their hair. Her parents moved away as soon as she was 18 but always sent her money to keep her going. Like I said, as long as she stayed out of their hair."

I shook my head and continued. "Once we hit that age we both started talking to guys and hanging out all together. Every time, she got the guy, no matter who it was. She wrapped them around her finger and they were hers. Even if I had initially introduced her to them, they were hers. She wouldn't sleep with them, I don't want her to sound like a whore, but she used them. And they always fell for her. Never me. I just wanted some sort of attention. Something. And now it's the zombie apocalypse and we're in our mid twenties and she's still the one getting guys. She's still the one getting her way."

I crossed my arms and leaned against the head board. "She's even lucky she wasn't close to anyone but me. She doesn't have to watch anyone die like I did." I bit my cheek again and could feel tears welling in my eyes.

Sal stared at me, wide eyed. "Eliana-"

"Don't. I don't need your pity party." I shook my head at him. I pulled the blanket up and laid down on the bed. I covered my head and snuggled close to Shadow.

I felt the bed shift and Sal was pressed against my body. I could feel his breath on the back of my neck and his arm draped lazily over my stomach.

I could feel a blush crawling onto my cheeks. Butterflies flew in my stomach and I turned towards him. "I don't know why you're here."

"El, this is my bed." He chuckled quietly. I could feel his breath against my forehead.

I couldn't help myself. I grabbed his face in my hands and looked him in his emerald eyes. We sat in silence and just looked at each other.

His eyes glanced at my lips and back into my eyes. I bit my lip and stared back at him. Before I could stop myself I leaned towards him. His lips meant mine and my stomach was on fire. Goosebumps covered my skin and, as lame as it sounds, I imagined fireworks in the background. My hands were still on his cheeks, holding him close to me. His hands rested on my hips.

The bus came to a halt and we were shaken up. He pulled away from me, breathing heavier than usual.

"Something's going on." I could barely whisper. Sal nodded and we both got up from the bed.