Dear Wolfsbane

Broken

I kissed Parker, knowing it would be our last. I cupped my hands around his tear-moistened face. Our foreheads rested against each other. I fought back the urge to cry. I need to maintain the image of an alpha, even though I may never see my pack again. I want them to remember me as the leader I always have been.

He said the words that were too painful to return, "I love you." I knew that if I attempted to say the words he wanted to hear, I would break. My voice was inaudible when I tried to speak, so I just nodded my head.

Dani stood next to the car with Kyle, both teary eyed. Brent and Trey were next to them, expressionless. I barely noticed the tears streaming down both of their faces. All of the family that I needed was right here. I would risk my life for them in a heartbeat, and they would do the same. Everybody has to go at some point though, right? If you love something, let it go. That's what they were doing. And eventually, I would come back.

I hugged Brent, who seemed to never want to let go, then Trey, who gave me a sweet smile and said, "Don't go out on a boat somewhere, you know what happened with the Titanic." I laughed, his fears made him want to protect me even more.

Next I gripped Kyle in my arms and said, "You take care of her, or else I'll come from wherever the hell I am and whoop your ass."

He gave me a smile and replied, "I will, Calla."

"I'm serious, don't think I wont." I said, with a serious face. He looked slightly frightened. I then smiled and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Take care."

I looked at Dani, My best friend, sister, second half, and beautiful co-alpha. We both stood there, frozen. The air caught in my chest, and I struggled to fight back my tears. She smiled gently and outstretched her arms. "Come here," she said. I sharply exhaled and hugged her tight. My vision blurred with tears. She looked tired behind her makeup. I could tell she had been crying a lot. Her foundation had streaks on her cheeks and concealer had been patted gently under her eyes to lessen the dark circles under her eyes. Her hair was messy, thrown into a loose bun, a tell that she was too tired to make it into something pretty. She smelled like the Dark Forest perfume that I bought for her a while back. My fingertips gripped the soft material of her pullover. I heard the sniffles from the men around us as we sobbed into each others arms.

I let go, wiping tears from my face. I stepped into the car, and the door slammed behind me. I looked outside of the window and my friends were no longer. They were on the ground covered in blood with blank stares pointed at the sky that they lay facing. I screamed, trying to open the car door, but it wouldn't budge. I was trapped, screaming at my dead friends. My head was reeling. Blood was everywhere, pooling around the dead bodies that lay in the leaves.

I woke up, covered in sweat, screaming. The nightmare tore at my mind. My throat was burning and tears were streaming down my face as I registered Colin's in front of mine. His eyes were full of fear and concern as he tried to calm me down.

"Breathe, Calla, Breathe." He said, petting my hair. I tried to do what he was telling me to, but my chest was so constricted that I could barely inhale the oxygen that was so abundant around me. My heartbeat was accelerating fast. My head was plagued with the images of my dead friends. I tried to think of other things as Colin was still trying to calm me down. My grasping for air quickly turned into hyperventilating. I tried to speak, but my mouth wouldn't form words. Everything was happening so fast, I couldn't grasp reality. Colin tried to pull me out of my panic attack once more, cupping his hands around my face, forcing me to look at him.

"In and out Calla, In and out. Breathe with me." I inhaled and exhaled with him. He placed my hand on his chest. "Feel my heart? Count the beats. One. Two. Three." I internally counted with him, my voice still too shaky to try. Still shaky, I threw my arms around him, horrified of the nightmare. I cried into his arms as he rocked me back and forth.

Sam and Kyra broke into the room. They both stayed quiet for a while, taking in the scene.

"We- uh- heard a scream." Sam said, rubbing the back of his neck. "Damn well woke me up. It's three in the morning." Kyra made her way over to us. "Are you okay hun?" She asked me, wiping hair out of my face.

"Just a nightmare, nothing big." I said, voice still shaky. Colin's arms gripped me tighter. "Okay, if you're having any other problems, come get me."

Kyra and Sam left, after the boys exchanged glances. I pushed myself out of Colin's arms.

"Calla." Colin pushed with a concerned tone in his voice.

"I don't want to talk about it." I said, pushing away the topic. I buried myself under the blankets, trying to avoid the conversation. Colin sat up.

"I've heard a scream like that before, and that isn't something you get from any nightmare." he continued, "You let out bloodcurdling scream laced with one hundred percent pure concentrated fear."

"Whatever you're getting at, you're going nowhere. I just had a bad dream." I said. He leaned over me to see my face. I gave him a glare that told him I meant it.

"But-"

I cut him off. "It was nothing, let it go. go back to your couch and leave me alone."

Not saying anything more about the topic, he got up from the bed. Halfway out of the door, he stopped. "Oh, and Calla?"

I turned to look at him. "What Colin?"

"Good night,"

"Got to bed, idiot," I chuckled, throwing a pillow at him. He caught it and threw it back.

"No you." He smiled before disappearing down the hallway.

"Rise and shine boys!" Kyra yelled from the kitchen as we finished up breakfast. Kyra and I are both early birds, so we decided that we could make breakfast for the boys. She was a lot like Dani, with better bonding skills with guys than girls and the leader-esque feel (and great cooking skills must I add). We cooked plenty of eggs, bacon, and hash browns so we could feed three shifters, who were a generally hungry species.

Within minutes, both of the guys were thanking us and grabbing plates of food. They chowed down on their food as Kyra and I congratulated ourselves on preparing breakfast.

With all of our bellies full, we gathered our few things, said goodbye, and started our journey home.

Despite the horror that filled my dreams the night before, I was happy. I was going home.

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Okay, I know my updates have been wacky and slow lately but I've been busy. At least I updated on a Tuesday!

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