'Till The End Of The Line

Damaged (Part 1)

(In this version, Bucky didn't go back into ice at the end of Civil War and returned with the rest of the team)

6 months. It had already been six months since the events of Civil War. Steve is just Steve now, no title: no shield. He broke everyone out of The Raft of course, and now everyone just mills around in the country house that he bought for the "Ex-avengers" as they jokingly call themselves. Pretty much the whole of "Team Cap" lives there, with the exception of Scott and Clint (he finally took his kids skiing). Nobody really knows what to do with themselves anymore. They all followed Steve when he needed them, but sometimes they get restless. Everyone except Natasha.

Yes, Natasha. After helping Steve and Bucky escape in order to stop Zemo, she decided to stay with them and pretty much just spends her days fighting training in the huge gym built at the back of the three-story house. Like clockwork, everyday she wakes up, she trains, she eats, she trains again, she showers, she eats and then she usually goes to bed. Only, nowadays she spends half her time with Bucky.

Bucky wanders around the void of his broken mind for most of each day. He's almost like a shattered vase. Some days, he can fit the pieces together to see the beautiful shape that he used to be. But no matter how hard he tries, the shards of glass won't go back to the vase they used to be. Most days he shuffles around the house, never knowing where to go or what to do, so he often talks to Natasha: she understands the whole 'ex Russian assassin' thing.

Natasha stood outside his bedroom door, which was slightly ajar, and softly tapped on its black wooden surface. "Bucky.. i-it's Nat. I'm heading down to the gym soon? Wanna spar with me? I could use having an ass to kick" She attempted lightheartedly, with a smirk showing on the side of her lips. "Not now Natalia" Bucky still calls her Natalia. She used to mind, but she realized that he will always punish himself for what he did to her, and using that name keeps the memories freshly cut in his mind. Natasha sighed and looked through the door, seeing him hunched in the corner of his dark room, with his hand clutching his head as if he was in pain. Which, in fact he was - just not a physical kind of pain. She pushed it open and sat next to him on the floor, speaking to him softly. "Look, i get it. It's hard. But that wasn't you, and punishing yourself just makes all that crap Steve just did for you seem pointless. You need to get up."

Bucky raised his head and stared at her through his bloodshot, teary eyes. "No, you don't get it. Nobody, gets it!!" He lashed out in anger at the open air, sinking sorrowfully into Natasha's lap whilst sobbing. "I can't help it - I love him. I'm in love with Steve. The one person whom i have always loved since before he became Captain America. The one person i have loved since being a kid in Brooklyn. The one person who will never love me back."

The sound of his agonizing heartbreak filled the room, and the floor almost seemed to fall away as he lay with his head in Natasha's lap. Gently placing a hand on his head to steady his uncontrollable shaking, she spoke softly "It'll be okay James... I'll protect you." She wrapped her arms around him and fell silent, letting him cry.

End of pt. 1, Thank you for reading!!