Affinity

Chapter 5 - Aaralyn

Aaralyn slept most of the day. When she finally woke, she stretched her arms above her head and sat up to peer out her window, surprised to see it was already early afternoon. She sat there for a while, staring at a strip of sunlight on the floor while the events of the night before slowly came back to her. She frowned and flopped back on her pillows, her gaze moving from the floor to her bedroom ceiling.

She had saved a vampire from death and let him go free. And now he was likely lurking somewhere in the woods on her property plotting who knew what. It was obvious that her vision had not brought to her the clarity she had hoped for. Instead of finding tranquility, her life was now at risk, both by him and by her own coven should she be discovered.

Could she really doubt her vision, though? Everything she had seen had physically manifested, right down to the blood in the water. But the last thing, the sense of peace, had been missing. If anything, she felt more conflicted than she had before meeting the vampire.

To be fair, it wasn't because of anything Nathaniel had done. For reasons she couldn't quite explain, she had believed him when he gave his word. Her unease was more with herself. While she could probably placate Nicholas if he inquired, she knew Raj would see through any of her insincere excuses for her increased agitation, and she feared he was reaching the end of the store of patience he reserved for her. How loyal would he be if she were found out?

She shook her head as she pushed the sheets off her body. She pulled a plain, dark blue dress from her wardrobe and paused in front of her mirror. Her face was marred with her worries. Her eyes lacked their usual luster, her brow was creased, and she had faint shadows under her eyes thanks to an unrestful sleep. Her internal battle was leaving its physical mark.

She didn't regret choosing her morals over the coven expectations. It had felt good to do what she thought was right for a change. She only wanted her sense of security back. But as she stared into the mirror, she knew deep down that she was a long way from safety. Her actions the night before had started her down a long and treacherous path, and she had no one to blame but herself. But she knew she wouldn't go back to the way things had been before last night even if she had the chance. She couldn't keep following orders and committing senseless, vindictive murders. She couldn't keep looking Raj in the eyes and lying to him.

She sighed at her reflection. "It's done. The life you had is over."

And now she was left to decide just what came next. She could run. She probably should run, but she wouldn't know how to survive. Her entire life had been spent under Nicholas's supervision and protection. She had no real talents besides her magic and the predisposition to violence that had been ingrained into her since childhood. She wouldn't know how to take care of herself outside the Celandine. She had no way to secure herself passage out of Paris; not to mention, she had no way to make a real livelihood assuming she made it far enough away to settle down someplace.

No, if she ran, she would need help. She wasn't sure she had anyone left who would help her, so she would have to figure things out for herself. She could tuck away the allowance Nicholas gave her until she had enough to make running away plausible. He gave her more than enough, and she already had a decent sum put away for an emergency. In the meantime, she would have to stay, put on her best face, and try to keep secret any arrangements she made for an escape.

Even as she thought out the steps of her best plan, she was making a face at her reflection. It would never work. Raj knew her too well, and Nicholas and Lexander watched her too closely. She was trapped right where she was. Her only hope was to avoid arousing suspicion. But how long could she continue like that?

To that end, maybe she would go into town to see the carpenter about repairs around the house. It would please Nicholas to hear she had done so, and being seen in town would give her an alibi for at least part of the day should Nathaniel be seen or captured. Finally, with at least that much sense of purpose, she left the mirror behind her and made her way downstairs.