Affinity

Chapter 9 - Aaralyn

For the third day in a row, Aaralyn had been with Lexander since dawn, working with the team they would lead against the vampire nest the next night to prepare them for the ambush. And now, eager to recapture some sense of tranquility after yet another long day at the coven home, she was taking long, fast strides down the path toward the woods.

She knew that Lexander thought her unfit to be in charge of the mission and wanted the position for himself. He hadn't bothered to hide it. But when Nicholas had denied his proposition, Lexander had settled for continuing to take every opportunity to undermine her. So day after day, hour after hour without reprieve, she had been forced to wage her own private war on two fronts: positioning herself as a leader of her peers despite what many of them whispered about her, and keeping an eye on Lexander as he made his best efforts to sabotage her as effectively as he could. Her head ached with the effort.

It had been three days since she had let Nathan take her to the waterfall. As much as she could have benefited from the escape, she had not gone to see him either of the two nights since. Their parting had been too familiar, too intimate, and much too comfortable. And her response, both physical and mental, had left her feeling vulnerable and needy. She had been afraid of what she might allow to happen if she saw him again, what she knew deep down she wanted to happen.

Instead, for three long days, she had spent most of her time at the coven home. But even though she had thrown herself back into her Celandine work as a way to avoid Nathan, she had not forgotten anything about that night in the cave. On the contrary, she had been haunted by it.

In quiet moments, ghosts of his touch tickled her skin, and his phantom kisses caressed her fingers. The memories of his playful grin, the feel of his muscular body as he raced through the woods with her in his arms, the amorous look in his eyes as he bowed over her hand, and the way he had said her name had all sent her heart beating wildly. If just the thought of a kiss on the hand or well wishes for a good night left her so off-kilter, anything more was sure to be, in more ways than one, her undoing. It had to be better for her to allow her head to clear by establishing some distance from him and concentrating on her job.

Even the performance of her duties, however, was tainted by the memory of her nights with Nathan. The past evening, she had ventured into the coven's library and reread accounts of the vampire crimes that had been brutally punished after the establishment of the treaty. As she read, she was able to look between the lines and guess the truth behind each trial, and she grew sicker with every page. With every account she studied, it became increasingly clear that Nathan had been right. Of course he had been. After all, he had lived it. He'd had a front row seat to the establishment of the treaty and everything that had occurred afterwards.

And yet, despite everything Nathan had helped her realize, she had returned to her Celandine family, steeled to do everything Nicholas expected her to do. But as focused as she tried to stay on the coven, she had not been able to stop the names of those she had read about and the faces of her own victims from running through her mind all day long. She could also so clearly imagine the look on Nathan's face if he knew that she was spending her time preparing for a raid against a nest that had done nothing wrong save for chase the sustenance that her people had denied them. Then again, he had proven himself an effective spy. Maybe he already knew.

She wanted to be honest with him, especially after he had been so open with her, but it was hard to know where to begin. And it was impossible when she thought of how much he was sure to hate her if she admitted everything she had done and was currently planning to continue doing.

What would she even say? 'I am a trained mercenary of cruel injustice, and I have every intention of following my orders to raid an unsuspecting nest of vampires because I am too afraid to do anything else. But I still want to be friends because I'll need to confide in you afterwards about how conflicted I feel about it.'