NO WAY IN HELL! (P2) - Gothic Trauma

NO WAY IN HELL! p2: Gothic Trauma - Chapter Three

Manson's POV:

I grunted loudly as I fiddled with the back of my leather corset, trying to do it up but it never seemed to be tight enough around my supple body.

I twisted my upper half back to face the long mirror standing up in front of me, a slight rattle being heard as the floor vibrated. Caused by the thousands and thousands of people screaming my last name.

"Manson! Manson! Manson!"

Being chanted, over and over and over, the stomping of their feet and their piercing screams vibrating through the walls and the flooring.

I sighed in frustration and was about to take off the corset but I was stopped by a cold hand on my shoulder.

I flicked my eyes to the reflection in the mirror of the body behind me, a sympathetic but more genuine smile poised on his sparkled, silver lips.
His blonde hair had been cut and shaved into a Mohawk, way different from back in High School, yet he still walked around with a cigarette between those beautiful lips of his.

"Skold.." I spoke softly, and his lips twitched up into a bigger grin.

"Need some help there pretty boy?" He asked, smoke floating upwards towards his septum. I nodded with a small grin, and he reached his slim fingers down to the lace of my corset.

"Big crowd out there eh?" He said, his eyes fixed on tightly pulling the string, and my body jerked along with it.

I chuckled, a little more nervous sounding than I intended it to be.  "Yeah, big crowd"

Tim hummed and slowly nodded his head, not really paying attention to my words anymore. So I stared at myself instead.

Even I scared the hell out of me when I saw myself like this. I looked dodgy, like a goddamn dominatrix, just.... better.

Now was the time to put on a show. To really get riled up. This is my time to shine, to control, to scare. And I had to do it well. If tonight isn't going to go as expected, well I know that nothing else will.

"Tight enough?" Tim mumbled quietly and I nodded, waiting for him to tie up the rest.

"There" he said. Taking a step back and watching me like admiring a piece of artwork, pushing two fingers up to grip is cigarette and pull it from his mouth, blowing a cloud of smoke into the atmosphere.

I didn't bother to thank him, i was too caught up in planning. I probably looked like a freak at the moment, staring at myself in the long length mirror, my head slightly cocked to the side and my eyes hollow and grim, yet menacingly threatening. That's it.

That's it. I looked threatening. 
Good. Threatening.
Just the way I like it.

Yet small, skittish footsteps brought me from my daydream and I looked in the mirror behind me. I didn't even hear Tim leave, but he seemed to be replaced, and my lips rose into a frightening smirk at the sight.

"M-m- Manson.. " the little doll said. "We-w-we are on n-soon! In five!" He said, twiddling his thumbs, trying to find some sort of comfort. He seemed so very small now. Drained of confidence.

I nodded and waved dismissively, and he left almost immediately, leaving behind a small shock of guilt that seemed to hit me like a slap of reality.

Sometimes I ask myself why I'm so vile mouthed to that poor doll.
But five years ago just comes back to lick my neck and remind me about how much pain he and Stephen had put me through, they were all asking for some sort of revenge, and they should expect it.

I turned away from the mirror, rolling my shoulders and clicking my neck to get ready for the show.

Saying I'm nervous is an understatement. I'm terrified, not even that. I mean, this is our very first big show under the name of Marilyn Manson. Not Marilyn Manson and the spooky kids. 

But I guess we- I am going to have to get used to these, big arenas and massive shows. It's all that from here on out. No more little bars, and no more cheap gigs.

**

We were at least forty five minutes into the show, and my heart was beating wildly.

I had no control over what I was doing anymore.
My vision was blurry, and my throat was burning like a raging fucking volcano.

We were all lost in this world. The fans, the boys, even me. Everyone was wild.

The stench of vomit, blood and alcohol flowed through my nostrils. The sounds of anger and screams pierced my ears and the most careless, wild, antic lives were placed within my body.

My chest was bruised and I had flung my corset off to the crowd, being able to cut the strings with a pocket knife in my boot.

The arena was smoky and had a horrible stench to it, but it was one of the many things that fuelled me.

"And the world spreads its legs, and the world spreads its legs for another fucking star, CAUSE I AM THE ALL AMERICAN ANTI-CHRIST!"

I started, the rest of the sentence bellowing anger.

"OH ROCK N ROLL NIGGER!"

My head flipped forward, flinging sweat onto the wild crowd below, but they just stuck their tongues out and lapped it up like it was God's holy seed.

Music was taking control.

I flung myself onto the ground of the stage and crawled around on broken grass and sweat, making my way around like a child.

My hands shook and helped me make my way to the bassist, to the dear old doll, the mic still in my grasp.

"...baby's got big and baby's gettin bigger, baby got a gun got her finger on the trigger, BABY REALLY REALLY WANNA ROCK N ROLL NIGGER!"

I screamed the chorus, my throat still protesting, and burning.

I fumbled my way towards Jeordie, who was completely oblivious, and was bashing his head against the empty air, his fingers striking the bass.

Putting the mic in my mouth, drooling everywhere, I reached my hands up and out then under his dress. I could feel him tense underneath my fingertips and he struck a wrong chord, but that didn't stop me.

I screamed a long scream into the microphone and started to try and attempt to tug down Twiggy'a black jeans, oblivious to the fact that he had a tight ass belt. He seemed to notice that I couldn't bring down his jeans, so he relaxed underneath me.

I screamed again, this time in anger, and decided to give up, flopping back down on the stage and singing the rest of the words.

"FUCK YOU!!"

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