NO WAY IN HELL! (P2) - Gothic Trauma

NO WAY IN HELL! p2: Gothic Trauma - Chapter Four

Twiggy's POV:

When I got off the stage that night, I was trembling with a mixture of emotions.

The adrenaline was pumping through my veins wildly, and a lot of excitement was rushing through my system.

Yet I was basically on an emotion comedown, and in it, was a lot more than just excitement.
Confusion for example. What the hell was Manson doing to me on stage?
Was he trying to embarrass me? Toy with me?

Anger was another one. Why would he do that?

And sadness. I know he did it because he was under the control and influence of himself.

Brian has a criminal exterior, and extremely badass looking shell. But is a softie and quite immature, from what I know.

Yet deep down, he's a dark, dark man. He feels the need to make everything come out as hyperbolic. He over does things to the point of fear. He wants to find the negative in absolutely everything, making people realise that he world isn't as good as people make it out it to be.

Take rain for example. Natural and the most pure. He doesn't see it as rain. He sees it as god pissing on everyone.

He wants to kill. That's what no one knows.

Morals, political eyes, and subject conformity. He wants to kill it, kill it all. Or at least, have people forget.
He's like a vampire. People's fear is the blood for him to survive on. And he drinks it. Just chugs it down to survive. He loves it.

He didn't just start a band to make music. He started a band to change the world. He doesn't care about the fame, he cares about the fear, it's his best friend.

It's something I'm not.
It's hard to be something that you're not, especially if it's not a physical thing.

What am I to him. Not close. That's for sure.
Maybe just a play toy.

Yet toys get more attention than I do.

My excited smile fades to a sad frown, and I make my way into the bus, my dress soaked with spit and sweat.

The boys were asleep, all knocked out from out first big show.

Marilyn was outside signing girl's breasts and trying to convince the groupies to leave. And I was in here drowning with emotion.

"Rowdy ass night" I heard being spoken.

I turned around to face Daisy. His face now a greyish colour as his black and white makeup had been smeared across every inch of his skin.

He stumbled sleepily towards me, both hands rubbing his eyes furiously.

I hummed in agreement to his statement.
"Definitely, the crowd was wild" I breathed a laugh and so did Daisy.

"I saw what Manson was doing to you on stage there Jeo" Daisy mumbled as he stared off into his own world.
My bottom lip trembled and I bit hard down on it to stop myself from crying. Before I could answer, Daisy spoke again. "You looked extremely uncomfortable, but really quite sad-" Daisy cocked his head, now looking into my eyes lazily "-why was that?"

He wasn't asking this because he knew I was sad. It was just curiosity. He had no idea what was going on.

Even I didn't know how to answer Daisy's question, so I just shrugged and made a face. Daisy was too tired and worn out to ask anymore, so he just shrugged and meandered back into his bunk.

I just sighed and sat back down, my dreads hitting my elbows as I buried my head into my wet hands. I didn't even have the energy to cry, so I just sat there, craving some sort of release.

Another loud sigh made me look up and Brian came stomping in, a grumpy expression crossing his face, yet something else was there. Excitement? Happiness? I wouldn't know.

He slammed the bus door closed, and locked it, pushing his way up the stairs and into the kitchen.

I stood up from where I was with a loud grunt and followed after him, only to find him atop of the counter, a bottle of Jack in hand and the top pressed to his perfected, blood red lips.

He only bought it down when he saw me watching him.

"What, you want some?" He chuckled and held the bottle out to me. I snarled and snatched it off him and chugged down a few mouthfuls, handing it back to him and wiping my mouth.
"Well, tomorrow I'm getting you boys up at ten because we have a meeting" he said, lowering the bottle to sit between his legs.

I groaned. "Why didn't Toni or anyone tell us about this" I mumbled, looking down in frustration.

"Because I've just organised it. We have a bit to discuss, Jeordie. I want you up by ten, clear?" He growled. Normally on a night like this I would've laughed in his face and taken another mouthful of Jack, but the authority and warning in his voice made me think twice. I only mumbled and shuffled my feet in response. "Yes"

He took another swig of JD and swished it around his mouth like mouthwash, swallowed, then jumped off the countertop.

"I'm gonna hit hit the sack, Goodnight" he said, waving carelessly in my direction before letting out a yawn and disappearing into the bunk area.
It didn't take me long to follow in after him either.

His soft snores were scribbled over by Pogo's loud, pig like ones.
The rest of them were silently breathing away, deep in slumber.

I stripped myself of my dress and wiped my face with the bottom of it after spitting on the material.
In only my red, g-string like, women's underwear, I climbed into bed.

Me wearing women's lingerie isn't new to the boys. They first discovered my secret about a year ago when I was showering.
Ginger came to play a prank on me, tipping ice on me while I was in the shower, but he stopped himself when he saw my lacey underwear and garterbelt along with some stockings.
Soon enough he had called Pogo in, and Pogo being Pogo though it was a great idea to start laughing, pick up the lingerie and throw it at Brian.
I don't think he gave much of a damn though.

The boys, Brian excluded, gave me shit for a few weeks, but then they just eased off. Now it's just a normal thing for us all.

I sighed heavily and tucked my arm underneath my head, my other arm resting over my waist as I lay down on my side.
I traced my fingertips over my skin, really wishing it was somebody else.

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A/N: GUYS GUYS IS IT JUST ME WHO DOES THIS, LIKE VERY RARELY JUST LIE THERE TRACING LITTLE PATTERNS ON YOUR ARM OR WAIST AND JUST PRETENDING ITS SOMEBODY ELSE GOD IM LONELY LMFAO WHOS WITH ME?!!

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Hope y'all enjoyed haha 💕

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