my stories are either crack or angst

episode one

"oh yoosung how dare you" you gasped

"what did i even do" yoosung protested, also gasping

"how daRE YOU" you repeated yourself, falling to the floor while grasping your heart

"how are you even holding your heart" zen pointed out as you dropped your heart on the floor "and how is it in the shape of a heart"

"im not holding my heart" you said

"but it says 'grasping your heart' and you refers to you" zen argued

"no" you poked yoosungs left eye

"oh no much pain much ow" yoosung fell to the floor next to you

"you deserve it" you kicked him in the shin and stood up

"i'm out" baehee ran out of the room while somehow keeping her straight posture

"shit baehee dont go" you begged but she was already gone "nuuuuuuuuuuuuuu not baehee dont take baehee away"

"whats wrong with her" jumin asked and you glared at him

"yoosung happened and then zen asked things and baehee's gone now fuckkkkkkkk" you said and fell to the floor again "i hate my life"

"no dont hate your life im enough for that" luciel choi said and pat your back "its going to be ok"

"no luciel choi you dont get it" you said and swatted his arm away "i am going to die and there is no fucking way you can stop it"

"i still dont get it" zen said with a dumb look on his face

"get whAT" you growled at him with a feral look in your eyes

"i dont get what yoosung did" zen said and jumin agreed, along with seven and baehee who had stepped into the room just a second ago

yoosung also nodded from the ground and i frowned at him

"yoosung ate my puDDING" you said and kicked him again in the shin

"WAIT THAT WAS YOUR PUDDING" baehee said from the doorway

you turned to her and with a scarily cheerful grin on your face, asked, "what pudding are you talking about?"

baehee started sweating and hid behind the wall "i think i ate that"

"see i didnt do anything" yoosung protested

"stop complaining youre breathing youre doing something" you said but didnt poke his other eye out

"ok so is that sorted now" jumin said and proceeded to take a cat out of nowhere. zen started sneezing weird snot all over the place

baehee started running away from the c-fur and you chased her all around the building and into the girls bathroom. she locked herself in but you crawled over the stall wall and dragged her out

the five of you (excluding baehee) started chanting "death, death, death" over and over

baehee looked very frightened

"death death death" there were fires from hell and shit went down

baehee used bae powers and baed everyone while complaining about c-fur and started vacuuming the house

she was feeling very bae today so she used a lot of bae power and everyone lived happily ever after in paradise called magenta

the end

--

why did i write this

also that wasn't where it was supposed to go man this story went out of control fast--

i

love crack fics

absolutely

love love love

but seriously what the fuck was this i think i need mental help