I was so happy Dance Moms returned to Tuesdays. On my last day of Christmas Vacation I just kept telling myself, “Alison, just think. You just have to get through one day of school, then Dance Moms.” It was pretty successful!
So, this episode starts with Abby complaining about the 3rd place group dance. To this I say, “What were you expecting exactly?” I’m not saying that the girls aren’t amazing at jazz because they’re amazing at everything, but can we just recap the past few seasons. Out of the 4 times she’s choreographed a jazz number with the entire team (note how I say entire team because I’m not counting Bad Girls from season 3.5 since there was only 4 girls) the dance has only won once. I’m just looking at this statistically.
Payton was last on the pyramid for “behavioral issues”. I’m noticing a reoccurring theme when Payton competes with the girls…
Brooke’s next and Abby states that it’s solely because of the mistake in the choreography. I thought that she would be punished for missing class, but I guess not.
The next picture was really depressing. I hated seeing Nia go from second to the bottom row again. Just her little face… I need to continue before I break out into sobs.
After Nia was Mackenzie because she was fooling around in the dressing room. I’d rather see Mackenzie doing aerials in the green room then watch Christi and Jill get into a brawl, but maybe that’s just me.
Paige and Kendall were both in the middle row for being part of the winning trio, but Abby said that they could’ve done better.
Next was Chloe and I just have to quote Abby’s speech because it just made me sooooo happy! “Chloe, you have the dancer’s body. You have the look. Your technique shines through, you can nail it no matter what.” Can I just have that on my phone to replay over and over again? Please? I think that’s the nicest thing Abby has ever said to Chloe at pyramid, or anywhere for that matter.
Finally, on the top of the pyramid was Maddie and it was definitely well deserved. Her solo was close to, if not, perfection.
So, when announcing assignments Abby starts to ramble on about how she’s sick of Maddie carrying the team, like Abby does. It’s after this that she gives Kendall and Chloe solos so that they could “compete to be Abby’s #2 girl”. According to Abby there’s no way of getting #1 girl, but they can still strive to be 2nd best. Also, why are we calling them 2nd best or 3rd best? Just, why? Although I do have to admit, I liked the way Abby put Chloe up against Kendall. She made it into a battle of the pop stars. I’d like to think I influenced that idea when I wrote my fan fiction, To Be The Best, and had a “Battle of the Brits” between Chloe and Maddie. If you haven’t read that you probably should…. (Sorry for my shameless self-promotion, but I couldn’t resist.) Anyways, Chloe was assigned Katy Perry and Kendall was assigned Lady Gaga, which reminds me of that episode of Glee. (If any Gleeks are reading this tell me in the comments) I remember having a conversation with my friends about whether we were Katy’s or Gaga’s. (I was coined by everyone as a ‘Katy’ in case you were wondering.) Wow, I’m jumping all over the place today. Sorry about that. So, yes pop vs. pop. I thought it was a pretty cool idea.
The group number is called “Just Another Number”, which brought chills down my spine just when Abby said the name out loud. That was, until Abby explained the meaning behind it and slightly ruined it for me. Apparently, Abby wants everyone to be clones, but not just any clones. No, she wants them to be Maddie clones. I’ll start ranting about this in a little while, but right now let’s check up on our favorite team from Ohio. *Note the Sarcasm*
Cue the mooing cows, because we’re crossing Candy Apple territory. Blake, who choreographed their Nationals group dance, is back along with Lucas, Nicaya, Hadley, Zack and Mary (at least I think it was Mary she was kind of hiding behind everyone else.) Cathy announces that she wants to do a clean lyrical number, because that’s what Abby always wins with. I’m all for it as long as there are no gongs or bicycle wheels. Cathy then addresses Nicaya and tells her how much she’s improved over the past few months. However, she states that she needs to win this week and Nicaya isn’t up for the job. She then gives the solo to Lucas. You can imagine how livid Black Patsy was. I would be too if someone humiliated my daughter like that. I don’t even think Abby has done something like that. There weren’t a lot of very good one-liners this week, so I guess I’ll have to give the quote of the week to Black Patsy who said, “I knew there was a big but coming up, a but bigger than Abby’s butt.” I guess her clever use of homophones caused me to giggle, but it’s no Christi one-liner. Black Patsy claims that the reason Lucas got a solo over Nicaya is because Lucas’s moms sucked up to Blake.
