Thank you, Saving Grace

4. Grace

Since the beginning of the year I learned a few things, not just about myself but about life.

1. Be careful who you date, they might be what the dictionary defines as psychotic. 

Psychotic: mentally unstable

2. Getting a new lock for your locker is necessary so you don't get the nickname, zipper or easy to unzip.

This will be caused by either carrying all your books in your backpack because your locker smells like rotten meat or because some psychotic ex boyfriend you dated for almost two years spreads horrible rumors to all his sporty jock friends about how easy it is to get into bed with you. You being a virgin.

3. Makeup concealer is your best friend next to your jacket.

This will hide your tears and or hide the fact that you have learned, thanks to webmd, that you are on the verge of a psychotic break.

And 4...

4. Witches are real.

As nuts as that sounds, it is very true. Let's backtrack a little bit, shall we?

First week of school, was just as bad as day one. Okay, that is a lie it was worse. After three days of carrying my books around for class I finally asked a janitor to help me after school to clean out my locker. All I told him was that it smelled bad. Even he, a guy who has most likely added sawdust over vomit from sick kids, found the same trashcan I did and puked. The smell was so bad that an adult in a gross job vomited. Ironically and sadly, I knew he was going to have to clean up his own mess as well as 'my own'. After a deep clean and letting it air out for a few days, I got my locker to be my own. It did not last...

It was somewhere around the second week that when my books were in my locker that jello that had tissues and trash mixed together had somehow been filtered through the slits of my locker. My textbooks were now damaged thanks to melting jello. I attempted to complain and you know what my stupid counselor told me? The guy flatly told me, "It is just the first few weeks. Stuff like this happens to freshman all the time, it is a right of passage." Right of passage my flat ass. I was the only one that has had this sort of treatment! I mean the only one! Yet because I started to cry the counselor helped in one regard. I was given a new locker. Apparently that was the length of help that he would give me.

New locker or not, the next day my locker was tagged. The wonderful graffiti writing on the metal frame read, "Whore" and "Skank" as well as a horribly written sentence of, "Will put out for a $". I attempted to speak to my counselor once again to talk about what was going on. Yet again I heard from him, "Well I am sorry there isn't much that I can do. I can talk with the boys but past that it is you that needs to watch your actions. You cannot just jump from guy to guy." He had went on but sitting in the chair I felt my stomach toss and knot up. I didn't feel well. Instead I felt sick as if a fever was starting up.

Since nothing was being done the boys became more creative. They found out where the camera's didn't pick up and ganged up on me. The first time was the worst. Mainly because I hadn't been expecting it. I don't remember much other than that something was shoved in my mouth as my eyes were covered. I remember trying to scream and the taste of sweat lingered in my mouth. I tried to kick and fight but my arms were pulled behind my back. I felt my backpack drop as my jacket was removed showing off my tank top. I started crying when I felt something cold against my skin. After what felt like hours I was on the floor. My shirt was cut straight down the middle, my bra was cut in the center, and the words 'easy' was scratched in above my pant line. The only good thing about this week was that my jacket survived and I managed to make it home. I was able to fake sick for a few days, it was really sad that I was thankful for not getting raped but this felt just as bad.