"I like to cut myself!" I manage to scream out from my sierra desert dry throat, my eyes shut tightly in order change my reddened with rage view. Nothing is right in this moment. All of my abilities to keep my cool has flown directly out the window. My breathing is raged as I feel my inner blood dance to the hard beating of my heart.
The constant questioning has finally broken me worn thin.
The walls I have put up around me have been knocked down by the irritating glances & whispers that I have always felt like were directed at me.
Opening my closed lids, it's as if time has frozen in place as all eyes stare at me, cruel unknowing- yet seemingly knowing to no ends- judgement deep inside their irises.
I briefly make eye contact with the one that I had always loved the most in my young life, feeling my dark mood worsen when I see the obvious judgement in his brown orbs that I always look into when I need to find a source of calm. He shakes his head in what appears to be disgust, turning to talk to one of his friends. The distance between us isn't long at all, allowing my ears to train in on his every word.
"I never knew she was some emo freak, man."
The world before me darkens before I blink it back again, only to find myself in a completely white cushioned room. My gaze remains wide eyed even when a man walks in, simply to guide me out with a mere grab of my arm. Knowing there's no room for argument, I go without any attempts to free myself.
The hallways are a misty blur as I stare straight ahead, trying to gather my thoughts. I had been in this place for over an hour, and I already feel like the world has trapped me in a small space that only shrinks further.
The next thing I know, I'm in a fair sized room with some bright colored furniture placed around. My chapped lips form into a small frown when I see them- my family. My mother's right hand is in my father's larger one. The looks that lay visible to the world inside their unknowing eyes stare at me, confusion and disturbance being the first of the emotions that I feel directed at my direction. Then the horror of their expressions that say they don't even know who I am anymore hit me like how lockers slam shut in school hallways. It's loud, and it echos inside my mind for what seems to be an eternity, mocking me at every corner, and wherever the smallest slimmer of light enters, it crushes.
From that moment, you wouldn't have to explain it to me for me to comprehend and completely grasp the concept that my life will never be the same again. Everything that I have ever known are doomed to forever be just memories to me.
