Life

2016

Majority of the people I know, have told me how awful their year was. I think 2016 was just a year of sadness, pain and anxiety for most. I know it was for me. This was the year, I learned I could not trust anyone, My mind became so paranoid of betrayal because of how many experiences I've had, that I can no longer and will no longer try to make any friends, but only acquaintances. The people I thought were my friends, the ones I could trust with my life, ended up being the same, where they were only in it for themselves. I've learned that no one is ever truly there for you, and the only one that will be is myself. This was my year of breakdowns, after having so many things go through my mind , the fear of betrayal. I'd have a breakdown at least once a week. It's the memories that hurt you, the people who were considered friends bring along many good memories. You might be reminded of a movie, a book, songs you used to listen to. And they suddenly become everything you hate. Everyone changes, they aren't like that anymore. Now coming 2017, is the year I wanna change, the year I work towards my goals. So far it's working, I've remodelled a bedroom in the basement, I have a video camera so I can make story time videos, I'm getting into modelling careers, I'm finishing school early. Then I can leave, everything behind. At this point I forget sometimes that I am alive, breathing, my heart beating. I feel like I'm just kinda there, my feeling of emptiness is my only companion.