Master {Kellic} [Book 1]

Chapter 31

This part of the book makes my emo self even more emo and idk if I can handle this shit like okay yep nope D O N E W I T H V I C S S H I T

~I Hate Vic (No I Don't)~

"You know what Ariel! I hate him! I fucking hate him!" I ranted pacing back and forth in my bedroom. "I hope he trips down the stairs or one of his other slaves gives him an STD because I hate that my stupid master!"

"Calm down Kellin," She said laying on my bed watching me as I go.

"No! I can't calm down! He likes me! I know he does because if he didn't he wouldn't have kissed me like that. And I have watched enough freaking romance movies to know that when you kiss someone the way he kissed that means you have feelings for the person you're kissing. He has feelings for me Ariel, I can tell by the way he looks at me. But then I had to be an idiot and flinch again!"

"You flinched again!" She exclaimed, I just came back from Vic's room where he kissed again and me being the idiot I am was too shocked to kiss him back. He probably thought I didn't like it or something but oh my god I loved it so much.

"Yes I did because I'm stupid! It's like my mind knows that Vic isn't going to hurt me or something but my body is still used to it you know? I mean Vic has never abused me, he's punished me once but I broke a rule and deserved it. And I got over the punishment easily. He has only ever hit me once and I know he didn't mean it and I didn't flinch after that either. After I got hurt by another master Vic took care of me and he was really sweet and caring and I had no reason to be scared of him. I'm still not scared of him. I don't understand this Ariel, why am I freaking flinching?" I asked and sat on the floor trying not to cry.

"Well Sweetie, it could be your subconscious." Ariel said and got off of my bed and sat next to me on the floor.

"But why?" I asked my voice cracking, "I-I love Vic and like I've been saying I know I shouldn't but I can't help who I fall in love with. I-I kn-know that I shouldn't be scared of him, and I'm not. I don't understand why I all of a sudden started doing this but I need to stop it! And Vic needs to stop sending me mixed signals!"

"Did you ever think that maybe he's just never really experienced something like this? Give him some time so that he can figure out some things. And you really do need to figure something out with the flinching."

"I know, he's making me call him Master again." I said quietly. "I don't understand why he's doing all this. I mean I flinched so what?"

"Maybe he doesn't want you to flinch," Ariel said furrowing her eyebrows. "I mean if I was in Vic's dress shoes I wouldn't want the guy I like to flinch every time I get close to him."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean Vic probably thinks you're afraid of him! Actions speak louder than words and even though you're not afraid of him every time you flinch, you give off a "Oh my god don't touch me!" vibe and that's not cool. Something must have triggered the flinching."

I bit my lip, something I know I shouldn't do but I'm mad at Vic so I don't care.

"That stupid Master Cerulli guy!"

"What do you mean? Sorry I wasn't exactly around when that happened."

"Vic let that jerk use me and he tried to have sex with me without lube, prep or a condom and he ripped my butt."

"He ripped your ass?"

I nodded and scowled, "I had to have an enema done every other day because of the bleeding."

"That's terrible oh my god."

"That's not all he did though, I didn't tell Vic and I had asked the doctor not to tell him either but that mean guy had tried to pierce my thing."

"Your thing?" Ariel asked confused.

"You know... my penis." I mumbled blushing.

"He tried to pierce your dick!" She yelled and burst into laughter.

I nodded covering my face, "I didn't use the safe word until I felt that stupid needle press against the tip. And then he rammed himself in me at the same time and I just couldn't handle that."

"Okay so let me get this straight- Vic let someone else use you. Something that's actually really common with masters and their slaves. So I'm assuming you didn't want that."

"Of course not! The only person I want using me is Vic."

"So it was basically rape. Sweetie you got raped, this is just one of the things that happens and maybe you're subconscious is still trying to get over that and you haven't fully processed what happened."

I sighed and laid on my back on the floor. "So even though I'm over the whole thing and just want to move past it my subconscious won't let me? And Vic doesn't want to be with me because he doesn't want to be with someone who's scared of him? But I'm not scared of Vic- my mind is. Why don't I get scared when he's actually using me?"

Ariel shrugged, "Sweetie I'm not a therapist I'm a porn star. There are just some things we'll never fully understand or know."

I groaned but dropped the whole subject, maybe Vic and I can figure this whole thing out somehow. If he ever stops being mad at me.

"So you're crushing on the butler huh?" I asked slyly and looked up at her blushing face.

"What? No. Of course not!"

"You like Tony," I giggled and poked her side.

She scowled, "Shut up Kellin."

"Tony and Ariel sitting in a tree F U C K I N G. First comes a blow job, then comes anal then comes the next block buster porno!" I said giggling and Ariel kicked me.

"Why do I even put up with you?"

"Because it's your job and if you don't Vic might do something to you," I said.

"Yeah probably." She said and kicked me again, "And don't worry about that whole thing. It'll figure itself out."

I nodded, god I sure hope it does.