Killing Strangers (Leave Me Alone) [Star Wars Rebels Fanfic]

Don't Need a Bigger Knife

He was completely losing it at this point.

Ezra was beyond worried for Kallus and his mental state. He wouldn't sleep. He refused to. He was in a constant state of awareness, almost paranoid at times. He had insomnia, could barely make himself eat, his eyes were bloodshot, and his body seemed to almost vibrate in adrenaline and shifted sometimes in jerky movements.

Days on end on Lasan has him on edge, and she was worried he was going to crack at any moment –if he hadn't already. More blood is spilled on his hands; the Lasats' and his subordinates'. And each time, he was becoming more and more unhinged, and she didn't think that he would be able to come back from this if he had to deal with even more death at his hands.

Maybe he didn't and that was why he was the way he was against her and the crew of the Ghost.

From his father to Kamino to Lasan, she had a better understanding of the man that was Agent Coriolan Kallus. She knew what made him tick, what had shaped him, and that it had all molded into the heartless agent he had become in the end. She couldn't help pitying him because she found and believed he could've become someone else had things been different.

But then maybe these experiences were all inevitable and he was always going to become this person.

It wasn't like he chose who his father was. It wasn't like he could choose his missions. It wasn't like he could have chosen all of this.

And even if she had met him before, would she really have been enough to save him from this darkness?

She began doubting that, especially as she watched his life and how blood and death and darkness made up it. There didn't seem a ray of hope in his life, and even if she had been in it, it would've been her against practically the rest of the galaxy and the Empire.

Ezra sighed as she watched Kallus eat the watered down oats, not even tasting it as he robotically ate. The small break he was having was a welcome pause for Ezra, who wished he'd take more breaks and get some rest.

He was eating somewhere quiet and alone, about ready to rendezvous with others and attack the Honor Guard of Lasan, who were stationed around a temple. The quick break he was having was to recharge himself as much as he could before he went on to help the others take on the Honor Guard.

"Take some more time," Ezra bit her lip, sitting next to him and trying to will him to just stay put. She didn't want him to go. Especially in his state –she was worried he'd collapse or get hurt really bad.

To her surprise, Kallus burst out into hysterical sobs, clutching at his hair and spilling what was left of his watered oats to the ground. Caught off guard, Ezra only managed to throw her arms around him instinctively, hearing his sobs closer up and feeling his body shaking.

Rex had told her once, very grimly, that "War is hell." She didn't disbelieve him then, but now she could understand it more and feel dread at the fact that war was coming for them all soon enough, and it would be waiting for her when she woke up from whatever limbo this was.

So she held onto him tightly, even after he'd collected himself, fixed his face into a stoic look, and made sure his armor and weapons were strapped on securely before he headed out. And once he reached the temple, Ezra only let go once he threw himself into the fighting, singularly fighting through the Honor Guard himself and getting them to a weaker position enough for one of his men to take over and finish the fight as he continued on and went to one who was waiting for him near the top of the temple.

"I am the best of the Guard," he announced to Kallus, staring him down solemnly. "There is only one better than me. The Captain. He is not here, but your fight will be with me and I shall take you on."