Freaky New Year ✔

Chapter: 5

Warning: There is self harm mentioned 

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Chapter: 5

Avan skips through the pages of Victoria's diary since all she talked about was her day. A page caught his eye as he furrows his eyebrows reading it.

Dear diary;

I can't stand it anymore. Avan doesn't have any respect for any woman. I wish he would be in a woman's shoes to know how she feels. To realize how he treats them. Women aren't objects that you can just throw out. I hate him so much. Even though I hate him, I can't stop this feeling that runs inside me. What is wrong with me? Am I actually falling for him even though he treats me like crap? Uggh it can't be! I sometimes feel like jumping off a cliff or feed myself to the sharks. I am not popular and not that pretty. I hate my life. I don't know when it will be the last of my words to you diary, but if it is the last then you must know that you are the only one I could actually express my feelings to. I can't even tell Liz cause she hates Avan so much. I can't help but smile very time he passes by even to throw me a rock. But he is just the most amazing guy I know of. Jerk but handsome and he could be kind if he wanted to. Oh I love him, I think so. It hurts me just to think that we will always be like this. Fighting and hating each other. I love him so much but I know he will never love me like that. Not even love, he hates me. And I should too. My wrists are running out of room for my scars. I can't help but cut myself each time I feel miserable. Yes I feel like probably an ugly insect that everyone just wants to step on and kill. My whole life is miserable. I hate it. One of these days it will soon be over. I just wished Avan would understand what feelings stand for. He doesn't love Zoey. He doesn't know what the meaning of love is, trust me. Well goodbye diary. Talk to you soon. :/

Vic:(

Avan's eyes widen as he finishes. He can't believe she loves him? He puts the diary back in the drawer then pulls the sleeves up. Yes, her whole wrist is filled with scars, both wrists. She's miserable because of him, it was hard for him to even think of that. This is his fault.

She's not ugly I mean, I am a jerk I admit but I never said she was ugly. I think she's not just pretty, but she's beautiful; he thought.

He shakes those thoughts away because he has a girlfriend. But then again, does he love her? He repeats to himself that he does. He has feelings and those feelings define as feeling something hard inside of him. He's barely feeling something that makes him less of who he is.

Victoria goes to her house to see why Avan hasn't visited her. He's the one to open the door as he just stares at her.

"Victoria."

"Ahemmm," she says as she looks around.

"Oh sorry I mean Avan what do you want?" Suddenly a smile curls up on his lips. Victoria can't seem to believe that he's actually smiling thinking it's a joke.

"We need to talk," she says. He closes the door and takes her hand leading her to the park that is close to their neighborhood just around the corner.

"What's up?" He asks. He sits down on the bench then Victoria follows.

"You know exactly what is up," she looks over at him finding it weird staring at her own self.

"Of me being you, and you being me?" He asks. Victoria nods. "Well I don't know. Maybe we are going to be stuck like this forever?"

"Don't say that!" She stands up. Avan grabs her hand pulling her back down.

"If the shooting star came exactly on New Year's, maybe it will come back next year—"

"What?! Are you saying that we will be stuck like this until next year?! Cause of a stupid shooting star?!" Victoria interrupts him.

"Will you keep it down?! Even I don't sound so violent," he scoffs.

"Avan I-I can't handle being like this."

"And you think I can?" He stares at her directly into her eyes. "Umm can I ask you something?"

"What?"

He pulls up the sleeve of her purple sweater. She gasps knowing he's referring to the scars.

"Would you mind explaining this?" He looks at her as a tear escapes the corner of her right eye.

"I-I—" She became speechless. Not wanting to tell him the truth.

"Victoria tell me why. Why do you do this? You thought I wasn't going to find out? I'm you and I was going to see this soon enough. I didn't notice this morning but until now."

"This wasn't supposed to happen," she looks down avoiding eye contact with him.

"Victoria it's okay, you can trust me," he puts his hand on her shoulder. She looks up and stares at him puzzled. He has never talked to her this way.

"You expect me to trust you? Being stuck on each other's bodies doesn't mean anything Avan. You are the last person on earth that I would ever trust!" She stands up and runs away from him. She hopes that he never finds her diary or she's screwed.

Avan sighs. He understands her now. Of course she wasn't going to confess that the reason she has been cutting has been because of him. Because she loves him and he hates her. He decided that he won't let her know that he knows. He will keep this to himself until he's back in his body. Then she will have to tell him face to face.

He makes his way back home, well Victoria's home and to her room. He finds her room very cozy, warm and with light. It feels like a room for a princess.

"Victoria is a princess. She is not ugly or pretty. She is beyond the most ravishing girl that I now of. Not even Zoey can top that."