love me or leave me • cake

Chapter Ten

Luke's POV

"Luke, I'm pretty sure that Calum and I have noticed something.." Emilia said as she picked something up off my bookshelf.

I had invited her over because I needed someone to talk to. I was a little off everyday.

"What do you mean?" I asked as I folded my arms and picked at the scars on my wrist. They were covered by my, well more of Calum's sweatshirt.

"You never seem to focus on anything anymore Luke. Would you like to tell me what's bothering you?"

I happened to snap at her, lashing out my emotions.

"Why does everyone need to worry about me?! I'm perfectly fine on my own, Emilia."

She put her hands up to surrender.

"We care about you Luke! We want to be there if you become depressed or suicidal!"

I felt a sudden ray of sadness, knowing they were too late and I was far to in to be saved.

"If only you knew...."

And then I realized I said that out loud.

She turned around, her chocolate eyes staring into mine. She sat down next to me, her arm around me and her dark brown hair touching my skin. 

"Luke?"

I nodded my head.

"Are you okay? Mentally?"

I felt all my emotions rising to my skin, the teardrops forming in my eyes.

"N-no."

She held me closer as I broke down in front of her.

All these months I've held it in. My emotions, my feelings, something's I could tell.

Tears slid out of my blue eyes, down my cheeks and onto my neck.

There's only a certain amount of time you can deal with something before it breaks you, I guess.

I could feel Emilia's hand reaching toward my sweatshirt, rising the cloth above my wrist and bringing it up.

Her eyes started to tear up. All my scars, the fresh and old, showed on my wrist.

"Why do you do this to yourself?"
She whispered, almost audible.

I choked on my sobs as I answered.

"I-f I t-tell you you w-wouldn't believe me."

She placed a hand on my knee and stared into my eyes with empathy. I took a deep breath and continued on.

"T-the main r-reason I live  alone, i-is because."  Pause. "None of my family is alive anymore."

"H-how did they die?"

"My dad left years ago when I was 13, after I t-told him I was gay. He beat me and hit me a lot that night and eventually left. M-my mom died of a car crash a few months ago and my brother they same way but 6 years ago."

Another moment of silence fell.

"Some of the things my dad called me that night stuck to my brain and get the best of me."

Emilia wrapped her arm around me and placed her head on my shoulder, the wetness of her tears on my shoulder.

"Luke, why couldn't you have told me earlier?"

I bit my lip, controlling all the things I wanted to say.

"I-i was comfortable e-enough to tell anyone."

Her brown eyes stared right at me, the empathy she had shone.

"Have you told Calum yet?" She bit her lip, and ran a hand through her hair.

"No, he'd throw me out and leave me. He's the only one that loves me like I'm all he has."

She took her hand and placed them on my cheeks, my head turning toward her.

"You can hide this from him forever, he needs to know Luke." I took a deep breath.

"I'm not ready for him to leave me yet."

And Emilia was right.

A/N

I'm a bad writer tbh