The Dead of Night

Chapter Two

Chapter Three: Eyes Wide Shut

“What do you think, Bella?” Mike Newton’s voice sounded abstracted, distant. Was he saying my name? “Bella? Hello? Earth to Bella Swan?” His words registered slowly. I bent my head in his direction. “Hey, are you okay?”

I scoffed silently to myself at his question. Physically, I was perfect. Dr. Gerandy had given me a clean bill of health, but I was far from okay. In the last few days, a huge hole had been carved out in the middle of my chest. My heart, once the source of life, now hung there like an old, abandoned relic. The wound that remained was a festering ulcer; a wound, exposed to the elements. No. I was not okay, but I was too dead inside to talk about it. I looked at Mike Newton’s hopeful face; his eyes were filled with understanding. His baby blue eyes twinkled as he stared across the table at me. In those eyes, I saw someone who would listen to all I had to say … someone who might actually believe me. Some part of me desired to spill my secrets about the vampires who, for a few months, had defined y world and my existence.

The hole began to burn as the memory of the Cullens danced through my mind. My eyes hastily averted to Mike; if I opened my mouth, I would scream in pain. No, I had to keep this bottled up at all cost. As for Mike Newton, all I could do was shrug and look away.

Mike breathed a heavy sigh and returned to his conversation with Tyler and Eric. I let my mind traipse as I attempted to remember getting up this morning. Charlie had said something to me, what was it? I couldn’t remember and I didn’t care. I didn’t remember the drive to school and I certainly didn’t remember my classes through the day; my eyes were wide shut. I was seeing everything and seeing nothing at the same time. I put my head on the table and drowned myself in my thoughts. The pain flowed as the memories resurfaced and took control.

“What’s wrong with her?” A harsh, high pitched voice whispered. “They weren’t even together that long.”

Lauren Mallory. In an attempt to apologize for almost killing me with his van, last year, Tyler had asked to take me to prom, which had earned me Lauren’s ire. She had a secret crush on Tyler that wasn’t so secretive. Everyone in the school knew, but she had too much doubt to make a move.

Prom. That memory brought forth another deep ache that almost debilitated me. The aching sent a surge, like an electrical current throughout my body. Every appendage it passed began to sting and pulse furiously. It was like hitting a funny bone ten times in a row, but this was not isolated. My whole body felt the repercussions of my thoughts. I gripped the edge of the lunch table as the pulsating pain overwhelmed me. Despite the torture, I continued searching my memory. I couldn’t help it, I remembered it all: his tuxedo, this way his siblings twirled around the dance floor with each other, and most importantly, the way he had held me. I winced as the ache radiated throughout me. I didn’t care.  I wanted to remember.

“She’s just said,” Angela’s voice said. “You’d be acting the same way if you ever had a boyfriend.”

I was a little surprised at Angela’s boldness. She usually shied away from any form of confrontation. Laurent made a disgusted sound and went quiet. My mind began to dawdle again.

I glanced over at the table, where I had first seen them: the perfect looking, reclusive family. The hole began to blister my insides as more memories resurfaced. Grabbing my stomach, I looked away quickly. I tried my best to focus on something else, maybe the conversation at hand. The chatter at the table did little to distract me from the agony.

"Hey," Eric said, his face contorted to a look of exuberance. "Did anyone else get a look at the new girl?"

This seemed to capture everyone's attention and the discussion picked up the circumstances were different I would have sympathized with her. It wasn't too long ago that I was the new girl, that I was the topic of every conversation and the center of all the gossip. I was glad that the 'new' phase had faded. Now I was too dead inside.