I got woken up by my phone ringing. I shifted and looked to see I missed a call from Ian. I quickly called him back, my heart pounding. Fucking finally.
"Hey mick," his voice was soft. I fucking missed his voice. I missed him. I miss him. I've been waiting for him to call me for too fucking long.
"Where the fuck are you?" I asked in a gentle tone.
After he told me he was home I fucking sprinted out the door. I ran to his house so fucking fast. My heart was pounding as I reached the Gallagher house. Ian was sitting on the steps. He looks so- upset, but still fucking beautiful.
"The fuck you've been?" I asked, slightly out of breath.
"My mom." He replied emotionless.
"You okay?" I asked.
"I hate the meds, you gonna make me take them?" He asked me as he turned to look at me fully.
"You get fucking nuts when you don't."
"Are you gonna wanna be with me even if I don't?"
"Of course Ian, why the fuck would I not want to be with you? After everything we've been through." I said to him. I would never leave him for not taking the meds, but I fucking care about him so much. More than I ever cared for anyone.
"You used to love me, now you don't even know who I am." Ian said as he stood up. He looked the other way, "shit, I don't even know who I am half the time."
He looked back at me. His eyes were glossy, his skin looked more pale than it has ever been.
"You don't owe me anything." He said.
"I love you." I told him. I want him to know that I absolutely fucking love him. I've never loved anyone in my entire life. Before Ian, I didn't think I could even love.
"The hell does that even mean?" His eyes wondered to the street and then back to me.
"It means we take care of each other."
"I don't want you sitting around, worrying, watching me, waiting for me to do my next crazy shit." His voice was cracking.
I gulped down my tears. "It means thick and thin. Good times, bad, sickness, health, all of that shit."
"What are you gonna marry me or some shit?"
"Yes." I replied.
He hesitated at first, "wha-what?"
"I will marry you."
He shook his head and walked closer to me. I felt numb, my throat felt like it was closing as tears spilled out of his eyes. "Too much is wrong with me. And you can't do anything about that. You can't change it. You can't fix me, cause I'm not broken, I don't need to be fixed, okay, I'm me!" He said loudly, the tears rolled down his face. I tried catching my breath to speak to him. To tell him to not leave me. That I could take care of him for the rest of my life. That I need him. And he needs me.
"So- your breaking up with me?" I asked.
"Yeah," he put his hands in his pockets. I quickly shook my head as I walked even closer to him. "Fuck that Ian. No. Stop." I said as I tried bringing my hand to his face. He moved back, breaking my heart.
"I can't take them Mick. They make me feel numb, and pointless." He breathed out.
"Without you I feel numb and pointless Ian! I fucking need you. You fucking need me. Listen, I don't know what the hell your mom said to you but this- you can't do this to me." My voice cracked, trying so hard to not just break down in front of him.
"Do you love me?" I asked.
He stayed silent for a few seconds, "Yes. I love you."
"Then don't do this. Fuck, fine don't take the fucking meds. I'll be here. I'll help you through everything. I- please Ian." I wiped away my tears.
"Hey mickey." I herd a voice, is that fucking Sammy?
"ah, fuck."
"Is that Sammy?" Ian asked.
