"I missed that," I admitted as we finished.
"So did I."
He quickly got up and grabbed his pills off of the nightstand. He walked out of the room and into the bathroom. Where in the fuck is he going? "Ian, where the fuck," I said as I entered the bathroom to see him pouring the pills into the toilet. Fucking great.
"Now there really gone."
"Is that a good idea?" I asked as I tried to save at least one or two but it didn't work out. He flushed the toilet and we both watched the pills go down the toilet.
He nodded his head. "Of course it is, I'm done"
Ian quickly walked past me and back into the bedroom. Jesus, I'm fine with this hyper energetic, horny shit but when he gets depressed I don't know what to fucking do.
Ian stayed up all night writing notes or some shit while I stayed up debating weather or not to tell Fiona about him not taking meds. She's gonna eventually find out. I just don't want him to leave me. It fucking sucks. It fucking sucks so bad that he has to deal with this shit. Fucking Monica. What a bitch. I could strangle the fuck out of her for giving Ian this shit disease.
I looked over to Ian, his head was in a book as he wrote down shit. "Watcha writing?"
"Ideas. I have to write them down before I forget." He said fast as he ripped a paper out of the book and put it next to him.
I sighed and moved my arm to touch his. "Cmon man, it's almost four. We should sleep."
"Four? Perfect time to go for a run."
"No, stop. Just- I wanna lay down, uh- with you." I choked on my words.
He smiled widely. "Does Mickey want to cuddle with me?"
I fucking hate the word cuddle. "No,"
"Yes."
"Fuck you, no I don't." I huffed as I pulled the covers over me and stretched my feet out, the papers all fell on the floor.
"Cmon Mick, just admit you want to cuddle your boyfriend." He got under the covers and wrapped his arms around my waist. I turned to have my ass on his dick, "No, admit it." He said as he turned me over.
I looked at him and sighed. "I want too."
"What to what?"
"Fuck, I want you to cuddle me. Spoon me Gallagher." I said. I turned back around as Ian put his head on my shoulder and wrapped his arms around my waist. He put his hand over mine and intertwined our fingers together, causing me to have a stupid ass grin on my face.
.......
I woke up feeling different. I felt empty and cold. I quickly patted the spot next to me to feel it empty. I immediately opened my eyes to see Ian wasn't there. Fuck.
"Ian," I screamed throughout the house. I peaked my head into the bathroom to find it empty. My heart started to race as I got no response back. I ran down the steps to see him not there.
I grabbed my phone and dialed his number. My breath has quickened as I herd Ian's phone go off. Where the fuck would he go without his phone? Is he hurting himself? Is he okay? Fuck. Fuck. I herd a door open so I quickly walked into the kitchen to see Ian shirtless, walking out of the bathroom. I loosened up, "fuck Ian, why were you in there?"
"Pissing?"
"Uh- okay." I said softly.
Him not taking these pills are driving me fucking insane. I'm scared he's going to hurt himself or do something stupid. I'm scared to loose him and this is giving me to much fucking stress.
"I have work today," he said.
"Oh okay, I'll come."
"You don't have to, it's a long shift."
"I don't care. What the fuck am I supposed to do all day? Make myself go crazy thinking if your okay or not? I'm going. I'll eat pie or some shit." I said.
"Well your going to be eating a lot of pie. Four hour shift."
My mind went to Ian washing dishes, hurting himself with a knife or a fucking fork.
"Maybe I should stay in the back with you."
"Okay Mick, that's enough. You stay here, or you can go find svet and your son and get a divorce."
Shit, I thought he forgot about getting married.
"I'm coming with you."
We got to patsys pies and I got a booth. I ordered a pie and a coffee. I kept my eyes on Ian as he walked in and out of the back. He's Grabbing dishes and I see a fuck load of knives and forks. I hope he doesn't think of killing himself ever. I hope I make him feel worth it, I hope even if he gets a little depressed he doesn't ever try that shit. I don't know what I would do. It would be my fault.
"Mickey," I herd someone's voice. I looked over to see Lip standing by the booth. "Hey"
"Did he take his meds this morning? He seems very giddy."
I quickly nodded my head. "Yeah he did, probably didn't kick in yet or something."
Lip stood there as he stared at Ian and then looked back at me. "the pills, they may be wearing off. We have to go to the clinic to get some new ones."
"I'll take him."
"Okay, cool. Thanks man."
