Silence is Golden

24. Interesting Ideas

The sun was setting beyond the horizon, the only hint at a sunset being the glorious solitary rays of golden light streaming in through the trees ahead, when I reached up and, pulling off my hat, shook out the long, tangled strands of my hair. From behind me, I heard a noise like a stone statue being choked to death.

I smiled.

Bloody hell, this is fun! So...what next?

I was just reaching up to find some nice buttons to open when from behind me abruptly came a voice: 'Stop! I...ehem. I mean we'll stop here for the night.'

'Already, Sahib?' Karim asked, and started to turn – until he remembered, and whirled to face away from me again. 'It'll be quite a while till the sun is down yet.'

'Don't question my orders! Do as I say!'

'Yes, Sahib. As you wish, Sahib.'

Spoilsports! Sighing, I let my fingers drop away from my buttons. Ah, well...tomorrow would be another day. And as for the night...

My devious smile returned.

How exactly did one spend the night in the jungle? On the hot, moist ground, pressed up close against each other in a tangle of–?

My question was abruptly interrupted by something soft hitting me in the back of the head.

'Sling this!' Mr Ambrose commanded me as I whirled to catch the thing. 'Go on, don't laze about!'

Blinking in the twilight, I held up the object. For a moment, I thought it was a vast gown, designed specifically to entrap females and spare the sensitive nerves of men. Then I realised that it was, in fact, a hammock.

Hm...that has possibilities...

'There's one for each of us,' Mr Ambrose told me, as if he had read my mind. Looking up from the tangle of cloth in my hands, I met his eyes and fluttered my lashes.

'Oh, really? Could you maybe help me and show me how to hang one of these up? I'm afraid I've never done it before, and I might do it wrong.'

Come hither, come hither, I'm a helpless little damsel in distress – until I get you in my clutches! Then I'll eat you for dinner!

'If you do it wrong,' Mr Ambrose informed me. 'You'll land on the forest floor. A course of action I would advise against, considering the poisonous snakes.'

With that, he left me standing.

Damn! He was a tough coconut to crack! But, on the other hand, I was in the jungle now. So I was bound to get some experience in the cracking of coconuts.

Deciding to make a strategic retreat and resume the battle on the morrow, I looked for two trees standing close enough so I wouldn't have to stretch the hammock to the length of Loch Ness, and far enough apart for me to not have to fold myself. I finally settled on a pair and began to lash the thing down. The result was less than perfect, but at least provided me with a reasonably dry and soft surface to lie on.

Swinging back and forth, I lay in my hammock, chewing on a piece of dry bread, while Karim and Mr Ambrose sat around a tree stump, discussing our strategy in low voices – or discussing ways to force me to leave the rest of my clothes on. How would I know? Lying in my peaceful little haven, I watched the sun go down and wondered what the morning would bring.

*~*~**~*~*

By the end of the day, I was definitely starting to have misgivings about my battle plan. Certainly, Mr Ambrose seemed inordinately interested in my increasing lack of clothing. So, however, were the jungle insects. When I woke up next morning, the nasty little beasts had decorated me with a number of angry red stings in places even I didn't think were polite to mention. Perverts!