The days went on fine. Everyday pretty much consisted of the same things. At the time I was going through a really tough time with my family. My step dad refused to talk to me and wouldn't even say my name when he was forced to. He made me feel disgusted with myself, like i wasn't good enough to be around him or even under the same roof as him. I felt like I was nothing. The person I trusted most in the house turned her back on me quickly. Told my parents my stories with her twists on them. Always made me seem like a liar. No one trusted me. I didn't trust anyone. This love hate relationship turned into a hate hate relationship within a matter of days. I would do nothing all day. I'd sit in my room after a long day at school and sometimes drift into a slumber until it was time for me to eat before I went to sleep...again. I felt like nothing in that house but no one cared. My councler had left a couple weeks ago. She got a new job. She was the only one that I could ever trust. She was the only one who helped me the way I needed to be helped. When she was gone, I couldn't be myself. I couldn't help myself. I couldn't express myself. I missed her more then I missed anyone, ever.
I felt so alone then. I didn't even know what I was going to do anymore. I was considering so may things that would have been so much better then living in a home where everyone hated me. I had a feeling that i just needed to let things work out on their own. Its a really good thing that I did.
Anyway, Kyle and I taked a lot more then we use to. We had a 4 day weekend and I thought that it would be fun if I invited Kyle over and we could just watch movies and hang out all day. He was busy durring the day and asked if I could just sleep over his house at night. I didn't even think anything of it and thought it would be a good idea, but instead of me going to his house it would be better if he came over mine. I was sure my mom wouldn't of minded I was gay after all but it was just my step dad that was just a little prick about almost everything that went on around me.
Kyle of course had no idea what was going on with my family and I so it wouldn't of been much of a big deal. He came in and it was pretty late. He was working all day and I'm just a lazy person. We laid down and I don't even care how gay I was, my goal was to cuddle. Its nothing new with me. I would cuddle a homeless man and still be okay with it, so cuddling with Kyle was nothing.
