I open the door to my house, and sneak inside...if Ashton, my brother finds me I'm DEAD. I hear him snoring in his room and chuckle silently.
My brother is the best person I know. He's perfect, he's good looking, he's extremely smart, and he's kind. Everyone loves him, even when my parents were alive he was their favorite. But I was always okay with that, I know I could never be like my brother, I'm not as patient as him, I don't think positive, I usually think about the negative side of things, I don't get that warm feeling when I do a good deed.
One day though, one day I hope to be more like him. He's 23 and he's in college, he wants to be a lawyer, he works part time at a firm and the other half of his time he volunteers at an animal shelter. He is very protective of me, and he would go to the moon to help me.
So every time I break his rules I feel guilty. I was supposed to be home an hour ago. I walk to my room and shut the door. I lie on my bed and close my eyes. Hopefully I won't wake up.
I wake up suddenly from a bad dream....the same dream I have every day. I've had this dream since my parents died. Every night the same thing and I always wake up from it, I look over at my alarm clock and it says 5:56, 4 minutes till I have to go to my first day of school. I lie down on my bed and curse God for allowing me to wake up. I wait for a response from Him, and as usual nothing comes.
I hear my brother shuffling around in the kitchen; he has a routine that he does every morning. He wakes up at 5:00 on the dot, he uses the bathroom, brushes his teeth, takes a shower, gets dressed, then he ends up in the kitchen eating a Cinnamon Bagel with cream cheese, and a glass of milk. He uses the rest of his time making sure I'm up.
"Riley bear, I'm leaving! Don't forget I'll be home late today, I have a date with Sammy, please don't stay up to late! I love you!" Ashton yells from the kitchen.
"Okay, bye love you to Ashton! Tell Sammy I said hey!"
When Ashton left, I jump out of bed and go in the bathroom, I wince at the picture I see. My long blond hair is in tangles and knots, my baby blue eyes are bloodshot, and my usually tan skin is pale. I see bags under my eyes from not getting enough sleep, and I am ashamed of the cuts I see on my wrists, oh and my tongue is throbbing. But it was worth it, it will always be worth it.
I hop in the shower, and the smell of my coconut shampoo wakes me up. I shave my long tan legs and rinse off. Once I'm out I see myself and a little smile appears...that's better.
I put on my bra and underwear, put deodorant on, and go to my closet. Hmmm....I see a long sleeve lime green Volcom shirt and put it on, I need to wear long sleeve so no one can see my cuts. I throw on my dark skinny jeans and get my black converse.
Done with that part, I race to my bathroom and my hairs pretty much dried now, I just throw it up in a messy bun, I put concealer under my eyes and add some mascara. Done, not bad I say to myself.
I never eat breakfast, even though my brother leaves me a bagel and orange juice every morning. I just throw it away and he thinks I eat it, I don't want him to worry about me so I try to act as normal as possible around him. He thinks I'm a happy 16 year old girl. Which is exactly what I want him to believe. I don't want to burden my brother with my issues.
I grab my things and run to my truck, it's not anything special, just an old green truck. I love it though, I put the keys in and as I hear it roar to life, I smile.
As I arrive at school I park and mentally get myself ready.
I climb out of my baby and jog up to school; as usual I hear whistles and hollers from guys. GAG! I need to find Jenna because I have no idea where I'm going and I don't even have my schedule. That's when I see Matt. I smile instantly, just the person I want to see.
