xliv

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january 11th, 2017

i had to hide my diary from taehyung for a while.

sometimes, only sometimes, he'd show up by my locker and try to talk to me.

and i'd usually bring my diary with me to class.

but he was there,

and everytime he was there,

he'd ask why i stayed at my locker for so long.

i would try to push him away by saying "i don't want to make conversation" or "leave me alone" or "go away" or "don't you have anyone else to talk to" or "go to jeongguk  i'm sure he misses you"

but the last one would make him frown.

sometimes, i even feel guilty.

sometimes.

mostly, i try to pretend i don't see his face scrunched up and ready to cry, so i walk away.

taehyung was just trying to make friends with me.

but him being in my company makes me slightly uncomfortable.

yet, i want to be his friend.

i feel this grumbling inside of me.

my stomach feels funny, and i could never guess i'll throw up.

until i d

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