I thought I overcome my depression but it's not , I'm just a ghost in this world they can see me but they never help me . I felt used by my peers I know that when I have nothing left they leave me bloodless . Am I the one who Isolating myself? I tried being friendly I read there Eyes they didn't even care . Maybe I have to use them first before used throw me , maybe I have to stab them first before they kill me .
I'm hopeless but hoping for a new hope but it seems theres nothing to wait . I thought love is the solution of my depression but it's only a deception . Because nobody really love a boy who doesn't even exist . Though my height is tall my self-esteem is low , though my skin is pale my heart is darkened . But doesn't mean dark is negative , It is just like an empty room that lights are switch off , full of surprise , it depends on you if you'll find the switch to see whats really inside a dark room . I don't know why I'm this , Am I wise enough? I'm the only one who can understand myself but maybe I'm just tired of everything , I opened those doors many times , slamming them closed hoping for a happiness but only leading me to my sadness . Having this depression will drive me crazy sometimes I'm laughing with my stupid jokes maybe because the joke is my life and I'm angry for I tried but things just can't work out , I'm sad for I don't have role in this life .
It is only a simple wish , I want to leave like others . But maybe it's only a fantasy . There is no room left for me here , I'm just a ghost lurking in this world . My peers had there own companion and I'm alone with my phone . I blast the music for I don't have friends that I can listen to .
I told myself , I mean I reassure myself that being alone is good for nothing can hurt and bother me , That I'm better if I'm lonely for I can think is only myself maybe I'll ask for help but I will only used you and throw you away if your nothing to me . Life I had is a labyrinth full of maze that will make you lost and I'm just a boy walking alone without accompany crying for I'm helpless inside the maze , It's better not to understand me 'cause we know you'll never help me . If you really love me you try to understand and help me .
