Glow

Chapter 5

We were now just walking through Chicago when it started pouring. I chuckled as I grabbed her hand and made a run for it. Rylee was laughing the whole way. "Brett? What are you doing?"

"Running from the rain," I smiled. I led her to a sheltered entrance way.

We sat down the pavement and I held Rylee in my arms. I couldn't help but feel like this was how it was suppose to be. Me holding her in my arms. I felt right at home.

Rylee nuzzled her head into my chest and slowly started to drift off. I stayed in the position that I was in and listened to her heartbeat. We were taking shelter next to a closed store.

I watched as people were busying themselves to forget about the cold rain or rushing to find shelter anywhere they could. I sighed as I knew we had to head back to the hotel.

I hailed a cab and then shook Rylee awake. We climbed into the back of the cab and Rylee couldn't help herself but smile at me.

"What a day," I chuckled.

"It's not over yet," Rylee pointed out with a giggle. I love her giggle. Before I knew it, we were both leaning in and our lips were grazing.

That when my worse nightmare became true. The cab got hit by a large truck on Rylee's side. I was screaming the cab driver was too, but Rylee didn't make a sound.

The cab rolled into a ditch. The cab driver quickly grabbed his radio as he was the safest and had to let everyone know of the accident. Rylee had blood all over her face and I kept screaming her name with no control.

"Rylee!" I yelled with tears on my eyes. I reached out to grab her head. My hand became sticky with a hot and salty liquid.

The driver was trying to get us out of the smoking vehicle. He was playing with controls and trying to pry open doors or windows.

"Sir, I'm going to need you to try your door," he told me.

I slowly nodded and tried the handle. "It won't open."

"See if you can get to the girl's door."

I nodded really fast and tried to climb over to it. My legs were stuck. There was no way out. "I'm sorry," was all I could say.

I reached out for Rylee's hand and squeezed it tight. I slowly started to black out.

I woke up in a hospital, Rylee wasn't with me anymore. I looked around and spotted a nurse.

"What happened?" I questioned her.

"A truck ran a stoplight and hit your cab in the side. The cab driver had walked with no scratches, you suffer a major concussion, and the lady fratured her skull and broke her leg."

I cringed when she told me about what happened to Rylee. I will never forgive myself.

"Is she awake? Can I go see her?"

The nurse shook her head. "She is in and out of concious and I think it'd be best if you stayed here."

I sighed. "But she's my everything. I can't help but feel like it's all my fault. She's here because of me. I really do care about her and I think I might actually love her."

The nurse smiled. "She's lucky to have you, but I think if you stay here it'll benefit both yours and hers health. You'll see her soon, Mr. Eldredge. You just have to have the patients."

I nodded slowly. She was right. I had to be patient. I had to take care of myself, I know Rylee would want me to. I just can't stand the thought of being here because of me. It's not fair, not at all.

The nurse left and I decided to occupy myself by playing on my phone.

All my fans have been worried about me since it became public that I've been in an accident. Some were also confused about Rylee.

I decided to let them know I was fine with a quick tweet, but I wasn't going to say anything about Rylee. We aren't even officially a couple and it would disrespectful to tweet about her.

My heart ached for her. I so badly wanted to hold Rylee in my arms and tell her everything was okay and that it was all my fault.

I guess I do love her, but I'm scared of this feeling. I've never loved anyone like this before and I'm afraid I'm going to get my heart broken like I have many times before.

I know it's a stupid thing to be afraid of, but I can't help it. I don't want to get hurt, and I know that this time it'll be brutal. I'm afraid of finding out how bad it's going to feel this go around. I don't want to find out.

I'd hate to say it, but I, Brett Eldredge, am afraid of love. I'm afraid of commitment. I'm afraid of getting hurt. But most of all, I'm afraid of becoming a widow and losing someone forever. Not even God would be able to reverse such a thing. And right now, all my fears are coming true.

I folded my hands together. Please, Lord keep Rylee breathing and stable, I prayed. Because I can't go through losing somebody that I love.

I slowly looked up at the ceiling, imagining heaven. I don't want to lose her. I'm an idiot, I've done stupid things, but I know that I don't want to lose Rylee as punishment.