Decisions (a Frerard one shot)

Hi there! This is my first ever attempt to write fan fiction, so I hope you enjoy it ^^

Love, Tessa

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'It's done,' he whispered softly, his lips barely moving. He was looking at the screen of his laptop, but I could see the grief on his face. My view started to get blurry because of the tears, a single tear fell on the carpet, coloring it a darker blue. I sat down on the bed and looked at the floor, more tears started to fall down. It was officially over now.

'Don't cry, it's better this way. We have all the time in the world to figure this out now,' he said. He closed his laptop and he sat down on my lap, hugging me tight.

'I just have this feeling that we're letting our fans down,' I sighed and looked up to him into his beautiful eyes. He just shook his head.

'It's the only way,' he said, he leaned in and gave me a small peck on the lips. I didn't protest, it had been way to long since the last one. Then he softly kissed my nose and my brow and my chin, then my neck and my collarbones. Somewhere in the middle of this, my clothes got on the floor, so did his.

The next morning I woke up, with my face really close to his. He was still sleeping and he looked so peaceful, not thinking about the band, about this whole situation. I thought about last night, it felt right, but also wrong, like I shouldn't be sleeping with a man, I should be going home to my kids and apologize to my ex. But it wasn't that easy, I had missed this feeling, the feeling of Gerard's lips against mine. How long had it been since they last slept with each other? I didn't know. I drew a little closer to him and brushed my hand through his hair. 'How did we end up here?' I whispered softly. He moaned a little and opened his eyes. 'Good morning sunshine,' I whispered. He grinned at me and gave me a soft kiss. 'We have to talk about this,' he sighed, his voice had a serious tone, one I didn't hear that often. I just nodded and got up, searching for a t-shirt.

A little later we were sitting on the bed, both with a mug filled with coffee. I looked at him, he was gorgeous, even though he was sleepy and wearing just a simple t-shirt and skinny jeans.

'Frank, you really have to decide what you want,' he said, 'I will love you no matter what.'

I frowned, I had been thinking about this answer for months now, but I still couldn't figure out my feelings for him. I had always loved him like a brother, but in the past year something had changed and I felt different, I felt more like I loved him the way I used to love Jamia. I ran my hand through my hair, a thing I always did when I was trying to think. I looked around the room, it was a simple hotel room with a light blue carpet and shells as decoration on the walls, the curtains were shut, so it was kind of dark inside. This situation was probably the most difficult one I have ever been in. The band broke up because of this. It put too much pressure on me to be in the band and to figure out my feelings. And Mikey and Ray weren't supportive at all when they heard about us having a relationship, mostly because we were both still married back then. The band grew apart after that, we couldn't make music anymore without having arguments about the smallest things. And now we're here, just me and Gerard, a day after we brought the news to our fans. Then I thought about how this would be for him, things hadn't been easy ever since he decided to leave Lindsey, what would he do when I decided that I wanted to go back to Jamia? He didn't have anything anymore, he gave it all up for me, he was so sure about this. He believed that this could work. But did I believe it too?

'I just feel bad about the fact that I'm letting Jamia all alone and that we were the reason why MCR broke up,' I said, my eyes started to get teary, 'I just want to do the right thing, but I don't know if this is the right thing to do.. I really love you Gerard, I really do.'

'Don't cry, please dear, this is the right thing to do, I promise.' He reached out for me and pulled me into a hug. 'I will always love you, Frank,' he whispered in my ear, his lips almost touching it. I let my head down, resting on his shoulder. It fitted just right on his shoulder, maybe this was meant to be. Maybe this shoulder was made for my head to lie on. This was the right thing to do, I was sure of it now.