I don't know what physical or mental state I was in. My brain felt like it was clogged and all the messages wouldnt come through clearly.
"Gabby, Gabby." I heard someone softly call in the distance.
My eyes where open but I had been staring at the wall for so long that my vision was completely blurry.
The room door openend and Courtney walked in.
"Im not pregnant. I, I took all of the test. I'm not pregnant." Courtney sighed sitting down on the bed.
She rubbed my arm.
"Are you okay. Gabby Gabby??"
I try to speak but my words get trapped in my throat.
" Do you need to go to the doctors. Do I need to call a ambulance."
I shake my head repeately until my words come out. " I just want to be left alone." I say quietly.
Courtney stands up and looks at down at me like Im broken. "Sorry Gab-" she pushes her bangs out of her face.
" Its not your fault Court I did it to myself." I say turning my head.
I didn't like recieving sympathy.
"I'll be down stairs if you need me." Courtney say hesitantly, "If you need anything just holler."
As soon as Courtney left out I sent a text to my dad asking if I could spend a couple of nights with him.
He immediately responded happy that I asked. He even mentioned how much time we had left until I left for college.
I told him to come after he got off work.
I got tooken away from my dad when I was 8 going on 9. One night he told me he was going to come home later than usual and that I could start dinner. Everything was perfect chicken was crisp, corn smelled nice, I had even put some jello in the fridge. The last dish I going to make was mashed potatoes.
Somehow as I began to pour the mix in the boiling water my sleeve caught on fire. My first instinct to yank away pulled the boiling pot of water off the stove and on to me. I had second degree burns fron my shoulder my hip.
The case worker who was assigned to me while in the hospital ruled that I should be put in custody with someone who had time to actually watch me. My Aunt stepped up right before I was put in a orphanage.
Just because my aunt had custody of me didn't mean I couldnt visit my father it just ment the time I spent with him was monitored.
After I turned 18 I was a adult and could live wherever I wanted but my birthday wasnt until July so there was no point in me moving because I was going to college.
But now sometime with him didn't look so bad.
My dad had a apartment in quiet neighborhood on the other side of town.
--
I pulled my legs up to my chest and wrapped my arms around them and began to cry.
After enough self pity I knew a shower would take away the rest of the stress I was feeling.
I grab some sweat pants and a big graffiti tee out of my garbage bag, took toilitries out of my dresser.
I walked to the hallway bath and sat my stuff on the sink.
I closed the door and began to undress.
--
Gabby turned the water to hot and sat on the edge of the tub waiting for it to heat up.
Gabbys mouth filled with spit and the urge to vomit came full force.
She leaned into the toilet and began to release the bile.
Her body was straining so hard tears crept in her eyes.
"Ugh." Gabrielle yelled in fustration she wiped her eyes and mouth. Angered she stomped her foot. She never got sick. She was strong. She had to be.
After the long shower Gabrielle felt rejunvinated enough to go down stairs and find something to fill her empty stomach.
She made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, grabbed a bag of plain. Lays a banana.
She sat on the couch eating her food in the dark listening to the rain patter agianst the house.
-- Later in the Day--
Everybody was back from summer school and work so the house was filled with its usual noise.
Courtney had left out to go over a friends house.
Gabrielle had nothing else to do so she packed her clothes for the nights she would spend with her dad.
--
"Gabby my momma want you." Briana yelled up the stairs.
Gabrielle tiredly got up and walked to Aunt room down stairs.
" You wanted me Aunty?" Gabrielle asked thinking her aunt would probably want her to run a errand.
"Yeah come in."
Gabrielle opend the door and her heart dropped. Two pregnacy test laying on top of a plastic bag wrapped poorly in tissue where sitting in the middle of the bed.
"Close the door." Her Uncle said. Gabrielle turned and walked in father shutting the door behind her.
" Gabby. Why I thought you where better than this." her aunt said hurt.
" You told me you- You told me, and I believed you." she said pointing to her heart. "You where suppose to be the one that was going to make it out. " Her aunt turned away and whippes her face.
Gabrielle was speechless.
" How much he give you?" Her uncle spat at her like she was a dog. "I seen him give slide some money in your pocket."
"Your wrong. Thats not what the money was for." Gabrielle mumbled trying to think of a way to get out of this without snitching on her cousin.
"Get the hell out Gabrielle." Her Aunt yelled after a quiet moment.
"Aunty its not-"
"Just leave Gabby."
She didn't have to say another word I stormed out the room leaving the door swinging on the henges. I ran up the stairs into the room. Every article of clothing I had went into whatever bag still had room. I made sure I had every shoe, towel bracelet and earing if she wanted me out I wouldn't come back.
I hauled my bags down the stairs one at a time not caring how much of a ruckus it was causing.
Rage. My skin was hot and my body felt heavy.
I went up the stairs one last time. My heart began to ache seeing that the room already looked different from the little stuff I removed.
Johny jacket sat next to the pile of dirty clothes.
I slowly crept toward it and then snatched it up. Angirly I balled it under my arms. And walked back down the stairs.
" Gabby where you going." One of my cousin asked with attititude.
"Leaving."
" Well when you coming back ?"
" I'm not."
Her face saddend.
" When Courtney get back tell her to call me."
I closed the door behind, made sure my stuff was neat on the sun porch.
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