Hot Chocolate

Prologue

  I did not know your significance back then. I was content with just looking at you from afar. Then I started wanting you, wanting to see that hazelnut hair everyday. I couldn't help but laugh at your jokes, admire your flaws, and long for your smiles. I knew what was right and what was wrong, I knew I could not make you love me if you didn't. Yet I still can't make myself give up on this fight years later. Loving you is my own form of self destruction, yet when it's your eyes on mine I can not make myself look away. And now your eyes look at me the way I used to look at you. I wake up everyday selfishly loving you more, but I promise I don't want to. I know I can never return your feelings, not even if I tried. I try not to come back to you, but it is proven impossible each time I see you at that cafe. I wanted to feel loved, but you wanted to feel accepted. So I will wait for you, even if it kills me. I waited when we were friends in school, I waited when we met two years later in the cafe after not seeing each other for so long. It has now been seven years since we met, but I will always wait for you. I wait for the moment you realize you need me just as much as I need you, even though it hurts. I wait for the moment you realize, just like I have, that the pain is worth it, that this toxic relationship we have is all that is left. Because what if I never love again...

'Your hazelnut hair and everything you do is so obvious. Your lips taste like hot chocolate, scent so sweet I'll still taste it in the morning. Everything about you is hot chocolate, because you were warmer than the scent of a caffe latte. You can only be described as hot chocolate, but breaking up with you was bitter like an americano. My memories will still go to that cafe, and I wonder if I will ever love again.'

There was only ever you...