Passive Smoking

Chapter 14

Shay POV

Ryder

I'm on my way

Shay

Coolio

I finish cleaning my room just as Ryder says that. I made sure everything was put away neatly and tidy for when he arrived. Last time, I was a mess around him, but today, I wanted to show him I have at least a part of my life together.

Several minutes later, I hear the doorbell and do one final spot check of the house. Then, I look at the mirror by the doorway. I straighten my crooked T-shirt and my sweatpants. I also desperately try to fix my hair up, but to no avail. Finally, I take a deep breath and reach for the doorknob.

I can do this, I tell myself. I'm fine.

"Hey Ryder." I say, opening up the door. He stands in the doorway in a gray hoodie and similar sweatpants to mine. Though, I only glance down quickly before it gets weird.

"Sup" He states, strolling past me into the house.

Rude, but whatever.

"How come you never bring Apple Jacks." I turn around for his response.

"You know, I'm starting to think you're using me for them."

"Of course I am. That's how this friendship works." He snickers. Then looks off at something on the shelf.

"Woah, where do you get this?" He picks up a little wooden deer off the highest shelf.

"I made it." He looks over at me in astonishment, as if I had just done the most amazing task.

"It's so good." He stops staring at it and puts it back on the wrong shelf, which irritates me to no end, but I'll put it back when he's gone.

"Thanks. I've been told I'm really good with my hands." I say proudly.

"Yeah? And how good are you with your mouth?" He asks with a suggestive look. I chuckle but I can feel my cheeks begin to burn fiery red and the words refusing to come out.

"Aw, you're blushing." He mocks.

"I'm not blushing!" I exclaim defensively. "I'm just...warm."

"Warm... in your pants just thinking about it?"

"I hate you."

"No you don't."

"Yes, I truly do."

"Whatever helps you sleep at night."

"You don't." I mumble.

"What'd you say?"

"I said it won't." A lie so quick I didn't even remember what it was. Luckily, he shrugs it off.

"Hey let's head back to my room." He nods and we walk down the hallway into the neat room I had set up.

"I see you cleaned it since the last time I was here." He said. I appreciate his acknowledgement. Now I know I didn't waste my time. He closed the door behind him.

"So who do you like?" He asks

"You promised we weren't going to talk about this."

"Yeah. I lied." He laughs, like he's enjoying the torture he's putting me through.

"So tell me."

"No."

"Tell me now." Ryder whines.

"Make me." I challenge him. He accepts by pushing me towards the bed. He pushes me all the way on it and jumps on top of me, but lands softly. He has my arms pinned above my head.

"Tell me."

"No."

"Are you ticklish?"

"No." I lie, unconvincingly. He immediately attacks my neck with this fingers and I giggle uncontrollably. His hands work their down to my underarms and tickles them too. Laughing begins to hurt.

"Stop!" I scream while giggling. He shakes his head and continues down to my sides. I scream in delight and then suddenly he stops.

"You have a knot in my hair." Stupidly,  I look up to see if I could see even though obviously I couldn't. Ryder repositions himself, pinning my arms again but this time puts both of my wrists in one hand while attempting to get the knot out with the other.

I can't help, but to look at his hair, how I would love to run my fingers through them like he was doing now. Then, his eyes, which were soft pools of water, yet hard focused at the task in my hair. And his lips, biting down on the bottom one in concentration. . Finally, my eyes settle on his jaw and collarbone, sharp and defined like his wit and confidence. If only I could see the rest of his body, what's all underneath the clothing. It was only then I realized what had grown in my sweatpants and I shivered, knowing Ryder was inches from it.

"Get off." I say, my voice quaking. It seems to shock him back into reality. He resettles again, closer downward, and he switchs back to holding me down with both arms.

"Why? Close to cracking?" He smiles, amused by my squirming like a cat watching a mouse.

"Please get off." I try to buck him off, but I'm not strong enough to succeed.

"All you have to do is tell me and..." He shifts backwards and I know he feels me. Quickly, he releases me and backs up to the end side of the bed. I curl up into a ball with my face in my knees in embarrassment. I feel flushed as I shake uncontrollably. Then he puts a hand on my shoulder.

"Hey don't feel bad. It's natural."

I wanted to scream. I wanted to cry. I wanted to yell at him while I cried. Me being this way wasn't natural. Nothing about me is natural. I was on the verge of tears when he started talking again.

"Hey. Why didn't the pony talk yesterday?" He pauses. "His voice was a little hoarse." I exhale sharply.

"Did you hear about the guy who lost his left arm? He's all-right now." I chuckle, my cheeks cooling down.

"What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!" He tickles me a little on my side causing me to laugh again, but then he holds back.

"Thank you." I said

"No problem."

We both are silent for a few minutes. It's comfortable. Just the two of us with no tension. At least I didn't think so.

"Shay, can I ask you something?" He seemed nervous

"Sure. Go ahead." I told him.

"How would I know if I was g... if I liked guys?"