Our Love is All We Need to Make it Through // KLAINE

Chapter Seventeen

*Kurt Hummel*

Blaine takes his porch steps two at a time, looking anxious. Wind chimes that hang from a hook dangling from the roof cling against one another lightly in the breeze, playing along to their own unscripted melody. He holds the door open for me, gesturing with his other hand for me to go first. I swallow the lump in my throat, getting myself together, and take the first step into the Anderson household.

The house smells faintly of a pumpkin scented candle as I kick my shoes off at the mat at the door, where other shoes lie, Blaine doing the same after the screen door shuts behind us. We meet gazes, and I give him a half smile, coming to the realization that this might actually be much more stressful for him than for me. I mean, parents can be quite embarrassing, and who knows what his parents are like. He's never really talked about them, or his family at all, for that matter. 

Blaine reaches out, palm outstreched, indicating for me to take it. I intertwine our hands, and he pulls me into the house as we leave the sunroom behind us.

The house seems to be larger on the inside than on the outside, and looks almost un-lived in, if I'm being honest. Either Blaine's parents wanted to make a very good impression for their guest, (yours truly) or they are just really, really clean. I'm not sure which option makes me feel more comfortable.

Blaine seems to see my thoughtful expression, because he nudges me in the ribs with his elbow, a small smile playing at the edge of his mouth, pulled up more at one corner than the opposing side. "I'll show you around." his voice is soft, as if he doesn't want to alert whoever is in the house of our presence. I nod in agreement, squeezing his hand once in a reassuring gesture. He doesn't seem to be acting like himself, like he's more at home at my house than his own.

"This is the kitchen," Blaine leads me to the tiled room, and leads me to the bathroom, then to the office, and then pulls me into a hallway, where there are three doors. Blaine pushes the door to one open with his foot gently, revealing his room.

There are two full sized beds, one on each side of the room. "Do you share a room?" I ask. 

Blaine nods. "Yeah, when Cooper stays here. Ever since he moved out it's been my own."

I release Blaine's hand and wander aimlessly around his room, my fingertips grazing his desktop, where a laptop and math homework sit, along with a copy of "To Kill a Mockingbird,"

Blaine sits on a bed, which leaves me to assume it's his, watching me curiously as I examine his room, crossing his legs as he sits on the black comforter. I return my gaze to his room, eyes lingering on each object, deciding in my head which items are Cooper's, and which are Blaine's. A Dalton Academy uniform is hung on the doorknob of a closet, which obviously belongs to Blaine.

"Did Cooper go to Dalton?" I ask, running a hand down the sleeve of his blazer absentmindedly as I walk by, glancing over my shoulder at Blaine.

"No," he declines. "I moved to Dalton two years ago."

For some reason, that statement surprises me. Maybe it's because for as long as I've known Blaine, he's been a Warbler. "Why'd you move there?"

"I was bullied back at my old school." Blaine says, and I can tell by his tone that he is dismissing the subject as minor, but his eyes say otherwise as I turn to look at him, looking thoughtful as he gnaws on the inside of his cheek.

"For being gay?" I assume softly, crossing the room to sit next to him on his bed. 

He nods. "Yeah, I went to a dance with a guy from school, and some kids beat us up." he explains, not meeting gazes with me. "I was bullied before that, but not to that extreme. I just couldn't take it."

We are quiet for a moment, Blaine in thought, and me in shock. Blaine always seems so confident, and really, there isn't much to not like about him. He's nice, he likes sports, he's smart...He's basically got all the qualities of what would make a kid royalty at McKinley. Well, excluding the whole homosexual aspect of his personality. But even I haven't been assulted for liking boys. There are some asses in Lima, but they've never stooped so low as to hit me for it. 

I reach and rest my hand on top of his, giving it a reassuring squeeze, although I am actually quite angry at this new piece of information. I wish I could make the kids who made Blaine suffer feel the pain he had to have felt, both emotional and physical, but I can't, not only because I would probably get pummeled in the process, but Blaine probably wouldn't tell me who they were, anyway. I guess it doesn't matter now that he's a student at Dalton, but still. What makes it worse it the fact that he still seems kind if shaken up about it, the way he won't make eye contact with me. I always assume Blaine has such a cool, tough exterior, and that his self confidence can fight off all bullies, but of course, it's niave to think that. I see that now.

"Everything is alright at Dalton, right?" I ask.

"Oh, yeah, everything is fine there." Blaine seems to snap out of it, and looks at me, a small smile on his face, although I can't tell if it's forced or not. "Don't worry about me now, Kurt. No one at Dalton has been ignorant, and I don't think they will be." He moved his hand so his palm faces up, and links his fingers inbetween the spaces of mine. 

"You'd tell me if they were, right?" I can't let it go. I can't handle the thought of Blaine suffering in silence through what I go through. He doesn't deserve it in the slightest.

Blaine gives me a funny look. "Yeah, of course." he cocks his head to the side. "Seriously, Kurt, it's no big deal. That was almost three years ago. It's all in the past now." 

I wish I could look at my problems that way.

An abrupt thought suddenly pops into my head. I've never told Blaine about last year, when I attempted suicide. The thought of him finding out makes me nauseous, especially recalling when Finn found out. He hasn't really spoken to me since.

I stuggle to swallow the lump in my throat. Why can't I just forget about it? Why can't my memory be wiped, so that way I don't feel like I'm constantly carrying around this secret?

One thing I know for certain--Blaine cannot find out.