Our Love is All We Need to Make it Through // KLAINE

Chapter Seven

*Kurt Hummel*

“Hey, Kurt, can I talk to you for a second?” my dad calls from the living room. 

“Sure, hold on!” I go downstairs, where my father, Burt, is waiting for me. He is sitting at the kitchen table, newspaper in his face, reading. I sit across from him at the table, waiting for him to start talking about whatever he wants to say.

"How are you doing, Kurt?" he folds the newspaper and sets it on the table, his eyes resting on me.

"I'm good, why?" my hands fidget in my lap. I hate it when my dad worries about me like this. It's not that I don't want him to care, or anything like that. It's just weird to talk about yourself and your life to your dad. Especially when your lives are completely opposite.

"You seem different lately." he responds, his eyebrows pulling together in the way they always do when he is deep in thought.

"Different how?"

"I can't quite put my finger on it. You seem more...lively. Happy." he pauses. "It's been a while since I've seen you smile like this, Kurt."

"I smile all the time!" I protest.

"No, I'm not talking about that fake crap you pull on me all the time and I pretend to believe." Burt says. "For the past week you've seemed to have more of a spring to your step, ya know what I mean?"

I nod once wordlessly, unsure of what I should say, if anything at all.

"Is it Finn?" Burt asks. "You've been spending a lot of time with him."

"Uh, yeah, I guess. He's cool." I swallow.

"It's good for you to make friends, Kurt. You can't stay so introverted all the time." 

"Yeah, I know, I'm getting better." I say more forcefully.

"That's what you told me the day before you-" my father's voice dies out, unable to finish the sentence. There is a silence between us, the only sound the clock ticking. My hand involuntarily raises up to rub the scar on my right temple where the barrel of a gun once rested.

I got lucky, very lucky.

That night is mostly a blur, a mix of pain and emotion and feeling alone. I remember being so hurt, so sad, and I couldn't take the suffering anymore. 

One shot. I had thought to myself. One shot will make it all go away.

And it did, but only temporarily. 

Burt had found my motionless body bleeding on my bed. I had painted the walls red with blood, and all over my bedspread. It really upsets me thinking about that now that I'm in a slightly better state of mind, because I think to myself why would I be so selfish as to leave my dead body for my father to find?

They brought me back to life somehow, and miraculously enough, there wasn't any drastic damage, except I get really bad headaches, and I black out sometimes, and other times I just have really bad nightmares. The sad thing is, even after all that trouble of trying to take my life, I can't say I wouldn't attempt it again.

As morbid as it is, I almost want to more than before, just because I now have people that know me, that might give two cents about me. It's terrible, it's selfish, but it's something that nags at my thoughts. But I can't tell my dad that. 

"Dad..." my throat is dry. "I'm not in that place anymore. I would never do that again."

"If you ever have those thoughts again, you need to tell me, okay?" Burt says sternly. "Or at least tell Finn, or Blaine--that's the kids name that you're hanging out with lately, right?"

"Yeah, I will." I lie.

"Okay, I love you Kurt. I never want to come so close to losing you again."

"I know." I swallow the lump in my throat, and stand as Burt goes to hug me. When we pull away, his tone is a bit lighter, but forced. 

"Hey, why don't you have Finn over next weekend?" he asks. "I'll be out of town, so you can have some company."

"Yeah, I'll ask him." I force a smile, and try to ignore the fact that he's only saying that because he doesn't trust me alone.

"You can invite others too, if you want." he adds, before squeezing my shoulder and heading outside, probably to work on his car. 

My mind immediately flashes to Blaine. Would he be interested? I guess it couldn't hurt to ask, I mean, the worst he can say is no, right?