Chapter 4

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  I went home early that day. I was in a no mood to be there anymore. Savannah had fallen asleep shortly after my discussion with doctor. I had thought about watching her but I thought that maybe that would be too emotional for me to handle. So I drove home with silence around me. With my questions...running through my brain like a track athlete. So many of those questions....none of them I could answer-not that I wanted to. The tears I held back was something I did not want to feel. The pain in my chest was was some what overwhelming. I wasn't used to this at all.

  For a moment I thought that Savannah wanted to live. She had so much going for her and she was very talented. She was an angel in my eyes. She was like...that one thing you cherish in your life the most. That one thing you would cry for if it had gotten broken or lost. I could never bring myself to understand what it was about her that made me love her as if she was my own child. I just knew that if I were to lose her it would break my heart in two. Crash my soul into the bowels of hell. I would be completely gutted.

   The doctor told me this was her choice. She asked for this to happen. The reasoning behind her choice would remain a mystery until I am able to talk to her again, and based on her condition. I may never have a logical explanation as to why she was letting herself slowly die even after someone was trying to keep her alive.

  The cool air of my apartment caused goose bumps to rise to the surface of my fairly pale skin. My favorite quilt was failing the war to keep me warm. I stood up from my sofa and grabbed a Mickey Mouse hoodie from the closet and pulled it on over my head. As I began to flip my hair out of it my phone began to ring. Startling me because I had not expected anyone to call me that night. I sat back down on my chair and picked up the phone off the hook. "Hello?"

     "Um, hi." It was him. His voice was timid and soft as if he felt uncomfortable calling me out of the blue.

    "Hey, how are you?"

    " I'm fine, just tired."He said with a sigh.

  I ran my fingers through my hair. " Same..."

     "I was just calling to see how were, Natasha said you might be a little upset by Savannah's decision."

  Figures.

  I thought for a moment before laying my head down on my fist that was propped up on the arm wrest of my recliner. " Yes, I am a little hurt by it." I said, admittedly. "It is a little bit unexpected."

    "A little?" he asked. Doubting my words.

     I laughed." Okay, maybe more than just a little. "

    "I can tell you really care about her."

    " I do," I said softly. " It makes me wonder why she decided to do this. She had such a great chance of actually beating this thing. Did she say anything to you?" Savannah seemed to have liked Michael a lot. I was hoping that maybe she might have told him something.

     "No, she just said that she was happy that I wanted to help her, but that she didn't want me to continue paying for the treatment. When I tried to ask her why, she just told me not ask anything."

  I let out a sigh as I ran my fingers through my hair. "I promised myself I wouldn't allow myself to do this." mumbled towards myself.

     "Promised yourself you wouldn't do what?"

     "Huh?" I asked dumbly. " Oh, I was just saying that I promised myself that I wouldn't become too attached to the patients because of something like this happening. I'm usually good with that."

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⏰ Last updated: Apr 04, 2016 ⏰

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