Civil Death

2: Tony Stark

Just a reminder this story is not for everyone.
Don't read this story if you can't handle graphic imagery.
                                                                   

Oh God. Oh God. What have I done. I killed him. I killed Steve. I don't want it to be true but any fool could know that he is dead. He has a hole through his head, half of his face is missing! No one can survive that, no matter how much I pray. He does even have an eye anymore, how could he be alive? How could I have killed my friend? I had been so fixated on revenge I didn't care or even think about what I was doing, and now I can't go back.

I was so entranced, I didn't even realize that I had fallen to my knees and was staring at my hands. I feel my whole body shaking inside the suit and I feel tears beginning to role off my face. I open the face plate on the suit so my tears would damage any systems. I fall on my hands and stare at the ground not wanting to see what I had done.

"NO!" I scream. I only wanted to keep good, innocent people from dying, I didn't want to kill anyone, especially not the one person who actually cared about everyone more than himself. He did his best to keep the world safe, he jumped on grenades and entered burning buildings to save people, when I-I built war machines and createlton. He was better than me, he didn't deserve to die. If anything, he should be the one killing me. I lose strength in my arms and fall onto my side.

"I'm sorry" I whisper.

I don't remember how long I spent sobbing on the floor like a baby, but when I looked up Bucky and Steve were gone. Only a mess of blood and hair. I get to my feet, a little confused. I look around for them, but I know they were gone. Even with one arm, The winter Soldier would have enough strength I pull Steve's body out of here. I decide that I don't want to stay here any longer so I take off. My suit no match for this intense cold winds and red warning lights blink furiously, but I am to sad and angry at myself to care. I spend the fly time trying to figure out what I would say to everyone. Unfortunately, I can't figure out a good thing to say no matter how hard I try. I guess I will figure it out when I get there.

I decide to go home instead of to the Avengers compound, or anywhere else for that matter. I just wanted to see Pepper, and nothing else mattered. Senator Ross didn't matter, the accords didn't matter. Nothing. I know she probably doesn't want to see me, but I need her.

I finally reach my house landing just outside the front door. I knock and take off my helmet dropping it to the floor. Pepper answer the door within a few minutes, she looks surprised at first, but her expression morphs into concern when she sees the look on my face, and my scratched up suit. She pulls me into a hug. I fell to my knees and she followed, holding my head to her chest.

"What happened," she asked with a soft, sweet voice. I shake my head not really wanting to talk about it. "Common, you can tell me. I know we haven't been on the best of terms -" I cut her off.

"Steve's dead" I admit. Pepper pulls away from me, the look of surprise once again engulfing her face.

"What?" She looks me in the eye to see if I was telling the truth, she sees the lost puppy look I give her and she knows that I am. She pulls me into another hug. We sit for a long time not speaking, I listen to the sound of her breathing, feeling comforted.

"You want to talk about it?" She finally asks. I shake my head and she didn't ask again.

***
We spend a long time sitting in the doorway of the house, but sunset finally came casting a chill through the air. Pepper shivers releasing me from her grip.

"Common let's get you cleaned up," she stand offering me her hand I take it and stand to join her, still in my Iron Man suit. I click the button that removes my suit. I feel a sudden rush of sadness, and once again collapse to the floor just inside the house. Pepper disappears into the bedroom for a minute and comes back hauling me up and helps me to the bed. Since lays me down and covers me with the blankets. I begin to drift to sleep. I think I hear pepper say something but I don't know what. I feel a general kiss on my forehead before only the shadows of sleep remain

In my dreams I see him. I see Steve being shot over and over again through the head. Spraying blood like a sprinkler. But I am like a ghost, looking upon from the outside unable to do anything, and every time I try to save him I can't, no matter what I do. Again and again Steve ends up lying on the ground with half a face. I cry out I plead for Steve not to die, I plead with myself for him not to shoot but he doesn't listen. Bucky Barnes is also there, looking like a lost puppy. I see his face splatted in Steve's blood, the shock of seeing his best friend on the floor makes him look weak. I see his will to live drain out of his body. I see his hopelessness and his loneliness more evident than ever.
                                                                

Hi guy! Thanks for reading. I hope you like it, but if this story is giving you emotional trauma then I'm sorry. A I tried my best to portray sad Tony. There is more to come. If you have any suggestions I would like to hear it, also sorry for any typos. Have a good rest of your day and try not to let Steve's death get to you too much. Bye!